


I HATE THAT GUY - meanie (mingyu x wonwoo) complete

by abnegative



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Smut, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2019-04-01 02:39:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 60,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13988745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abnegative/pseuds/abnegative
Summary: [complete]Wonwoo is a trainee, talented, good looking and incredibly arrogant. He's also debuting in six weeks. How is Mingyu going to handle being Wonwoo's Manager?•••••He took a deep breath as he waited for the words, the ones he knew were coming, the ones he was dreading. He heard, no, he felt Jeonghan take a deep breath before he dropped the bomb."You've been assigned to Wonwoo. I'm sorry Mingyu."Shit. I hate that guy.•••••31/12/2017 - 24/02/2018SMUT ALERTThis is my own original work I reserve all rights to the content. Do not copy.





	1. Chapter 1

 

day zero

Mingyu rushed through the Pledis company building. He was late again. _God damnit Mingyu_. He knew Seungcheol was going to be pissed. He at least had his morning coffee in his hand. Seungcheol was terrible without his morning coffee.

Mingyu had been working as Seungcheol's assistant for a year. It had taken some time for him to get used to the guy but he was actually pretty easygoing compared to his intense stage persona. Seungcheol, under the name S.Coups, was the number one rapper signed to the Pledis company. He was their big star. His fame had risen significantly over the year Mingyu had been working for him and now he was wanted all over the country for concerts and appearances. Sometimes Mingyu wondered how he managed to keep his job. Truthfully, he wasn't very good at it, but he had managed Ok when Seungcheol was less busy. These days he felt like he was drowning.

He ran along the corridor desperately hoping to make the elevator. He could see the doors ahead still open then slowly start to close. "Hold it! Please!" He called out to the person in the elevator. He made it just in time to see the smirk before the doors closed. _Fuck_. It was him.

Wonwoo was the new up and coming trainee and was scheduled to debut soon. He was talented, handsome, smart and cold as ice. He was also an arrogant asshole. Mingyu had spent the better part of a year avoiding anything to do with the guy. Mingyu was a happy person, kind and fun, and he liked other happy people. Even Seungcheol had a sweet and goofy side away from the stage and the cameras. But that Wonwoo guy was just awful. Mingyu had made the mistake of trying to be nice to him a few times, attempting to make small talk, smiling at him. All he got in return was cold indifference.

Mingyu jittered nervously while he waited for the elevator and breathed a sigh of relief when he was finally on his way up to the 22nd floor. He rushed into the office to find Seungcheol already seated on a couch with his Manager, Jeonghan, behind the desk. "You're late." Jeonghan looked down his nose at Mingyu from behind small round glasses. "Again." "Sorry." Mingyu said, quickly handing Seungcheol the almost cold coffee, looking from one to the other.

"Mingyu. Please sit down." Jeonghan said. Mingyu didn't like the sound of this. He sat uncomfortably in the chair opposite the desk. He looked over at Seungcheol who stared at his coffee. "Mingyu. It's not really working out anymore." Jeonghan said gently. Tears filled Mingyu's eyes. He knew he wasn't the best assistant but he was trying. "I'm sorry." He said. "I... I won't be late any more. I promise...." Jeonghan just shook his head. "Seungcheol is about to leave for a world tour and he's going to be busier than ever. The company has assigned two new and experienced assistants to us. I'm sorry Mingyu." Mingyu got up and went to his small desk in the front corner of the large office to gather his things.

"You're not being fired." Jeonghan called out to him. Mingyu breathed a sigh of relief. It was fleeting when he realised he was being reassigned. "Where are they moving me to?" He turned back to Jeonghan, trepidation filling his mind, his hands shaking nervously. He had picked up an empty box and began filling it with his things from his desk. Stuffed toys, cute pens, little coloured notepads that he liked to use. Way too much Hello Kitty stuff. A half dead houseplant that he named Hoshi after his favourite idol at the agency. They would never assign him to Hoshi. He was too incompetent.

He took a deep breath as he waited for the words, the ones he knew were coming, the ones he was dreading. He heard, no, he felt Jeonghan take a deep breath before he dropped the bomb.

"You've been assigned to Wonwoo. I'm sorry Mingyu."

_Shit. I hate that guy._

Why Wonwoo. Anyone but him.

"It's actually kind of a promotion." Seungcheol chimed in. "You're going to be his manager!" Mingyu sniffed back tears. Doing two peoples jobs for one salary hardly sounded like a promotion. "Every Manager he's had has quit." Mingyu turned to Jeonghan. "I've heard how bad he is." He looked from Jeonghan to Seungcheol and saw sympathy, but not support, in their eyes. "I'm sorry Mingyu. It's out of my hands."

Jeonghan felt awful. For all Mingyu's shortcomings he was a nice kid and would probably end up becoming a great manager one day. He walked out from behind his desk and smiled softly as he put his hand on Mingyu's shoulder. "If you need help you can come to me. Anytime." Seungcheol nodded in agreement.

"Thanks guys. Sorry I was such a shitty assistant." Mingyu gathered his sad little box and headed for the door. "What floor is he on?" "Floor five." Seungcheol called as Mingyu left the room without looking back.

Mingyu stared at his box of personal effects as the lift went down. Fucking Wonwoo. He couldn't quit. He needed this job. Besides the fact that he needed the money good jobs like this in big companies were hard to come by. _One day I'll be the best manager ever. Then I'll get to work for Hoshi._ That was Mingyu's dream. To work for his idol, his hero, the biggest star at the company. Even just catching a glimpse of him in the hallway was enough for Mingyu to swoon. Hoshi was the number one idol at the Pledis company, could sing dance and rap, and was adorable with a sweetly happy face.

Nothing like Wonwoo with his cold eyes and hard blank expression.

Mingyu walked down the hall and found Wonwoo's office. There were two desks and a couch. A nervous looking guy waited for him. "I'm Joshua. And I'm out of here." He said as he shook Mingyu's hand. "Coffee. Strong and black no sugar. He loves Red Bull. He hates being disturbed when he's in the recording studio. Whatever you do just don't go in there." Joshua indicated the closed door across the hall. "Diary." He pointed at the desk. "Phone." He handed Mingyu a cracked iPhone. "Good luck." And he was gone.

Mingyu began to unpack at what he guessed to be the right desk as it was the one with the diary. The other desk was as cold and unappealing as its owner. As Mingyu unpacked his desk items and carefully placed his stuffed toys, his trinkets and his many Hello Kitty items around, he smiled. Might as well be happy about it. How bad could this be? Mingyu decided he was just going to have to make the best of a bad situation. Hopefully Wonwoo would just stay in the studio all day and he wouldn't even have to see the guy.

 

 

Day one

The day before had been a complete bust. Mingyu had sat behind the desk for a few hours before getting bored and wandering the halls of Pledis. He chatted to a few people, searching for information, trying to get the heads up on his new charge. Everyone said the same things.

" _Loves his Red Bull. Hates everything else."_

_"Don't disturb him when he's in the studio."_

_"Talented but scary. Never seen him smile."_

None of this was useful to Mingyu. He ate lunch with his friend and fellow assistant Vernon who tried to sympathise but Vernon adored his boss, the highly acclaimed vocalist Boo Seungkwan, and literally made heart eyes whenever he talked about him. Mingyu would do anything to swap with him. "Want to swap jobs?" He joked. "Fuck off." Vernon laughed. "Not for a million dollars." He proceeded to go off on a long monologue about the glory of Seungkwan's voice, the joy of his sassy attitude, even the cute way he chewed his lunch. Mingyu just sulked as he pretended to listen.

He ended his day without even seeing Wonwoo. He guessed that might be for the best anyway. He needed time to think about what he was going to do. One thing was for sure. He wouldn't quit.

Mingyu made a special effort to show up on time for his first real day on the job. He walked into his new office at exactly 8:59am with a long black in his hand and a minute to spare. He was greeted with the sight of Wonwoo leaning back in his desk chair. "Good morning." Mingyu chirped brightly and smiled and held out the coffee. "You're late." Wonwoo said with a blank expression. Mingyu didn't know what to say. He set the coffee down in front of Wonwoo. "Ah, but it's only just 9am." He said with uncertainty. Wonwoo just stared with his unchanging cold face. "I start at 8:30. I like to start early." He said. "If you spoke to me yesterday we could have discussed it. Then you wouldn't be late."

Mingyu suddenly felt small. "Ah, b-b-b but you were in the studio." He stuttered. "Everyone says not to disturb you in the studio." Wonwoo fixed his cold eyes on Mingyu's and his expression turned from indifference to disdainful sarcasm. "My new manager introducing himself. Seems kind of important, no? Maybe important enough to disturb me?" Mingyu didn't know what to say. He went with the safe answer. "I'm sorry. I should have." He stuck his hand out and put on his best smile. "I'm Mingyu. I'm your new assistant slash manager. And I need this job so I will try hard and do well and I won't quit." Wonwoo shook his hand. His skin felt surprisingly warm against Mingyu's hand. "I'm Wonwoo. I've written a list of rules and instructions. Only speak to me when absolutely necessary." Wonwoo said, handed Mingyu a neatly written list, and walked out the office slamming the door behind him.

Mingyu groaned. This sucked already. First day and he hated it. He looked at the list of rules.

  1. **_Don't talk to me unless absolutely necessary. I will communicate mostly by text message._**
  2. **_Don't ever touch me or my things without prior permission._**
  3. **_Be here by 8:30am_**
  4. **_Long black with NO SUGAR every morning by 8:30am. Do not be late. Ever._**
  5. **_Red Bull every day at exactly 12:15pm. If I'm in the studio leave it outside the door without knocking._**
  6. **_We will meet every Monday at exactly 8:50am to discuss the week ahead._**
  7. **_No unnecessary visitors to the office._**
  8. **_No eating in the office._**
  9. **_No bringing my professional or personal name into disrepute by making any controversial or defamatory comments either verbal, in writing, or online, about anything in relation to or connected with the music and/or entertainment industry including any persons, companies or media outlets._**
  10. **_No Hello Kitty._**



Mingyu groaned and threw the list down on his desk. "I'm sorry Miss Kitty." He whispered as he scooped up all his favourite items and put them in the bottom drawer. He pouted as he looked at his boring desk. He still had lots of cute items and the list didn't say 'no plants' so it wasn't a complete bust.

He opened the black leather bound diary. Studio this morning and a meeting with company heads after lunch at 2pm. Mingyu took advantage of the time alone to sort out the diary, get organised for the week, and mentally prepare himself for the arduous task ahead. Because damnit he sure meant it. He wasn't going to quit. He would show Wonwoo. He would show everyone.

The phone rang intermittently and Mingyu put various appointments into the diary. There weren't very many but once Wonwoo debuted this should change. Mingyu had heard about Wonwoo's prodigious talent. It was like an urban myth. Everyone knew he was amazing but no one had actually heard him rap. Or sing. Or seen him dance. At exactly 12:15pm Mingyu stood outside the studio, Red Bull in hand, his ear pressed against the door. He couldn't hear anything. He put the can down on the floor and retreated into the office before he heard the door click open.

As it grew closer to 2pm Mingyu grew agitated. He really didn't want to disturb Wonwoo but he had no choice. He didn't need to be worried. At 1:50pm the studio door flew open and Wonwoo emerged looking as scary as ever. His brow furrowed as he beckoned for Mingyu to follow him to the executive floor. Mingyu dutifully shuffled after him, phone and diary in hand, ready for any whim of his new overlord.

The meeting with the heads went well. Mingyu had to give him credit. Wonwoo knew how to play the game. While he wasn't exactly personable or friendly he was definitely polite. They had what they wanted approved by the company heads. Wonwoo was going to debut. They had six weeks. The mini album had to be recorded within four weeks. They had the green light for 4-6 songs and one music video. Wonwoo had wanted a live showcase debut but that was turned down.

Mingyu was given strict instructions on styling and persona, mainstream media and social media presence. He furiously made notes throughout the whole meeting. When it was time to leave and retreat to their office Wonwoo dropped the act. "Forget what they said about the styling. I'm not dying my hair. And I'll only put out what I want on social media."

Mingyu rolled his eyes once Wonwoo looked away. He fished around in his desk for some painkillers to take the edge of his headache while Wonwoo disappeared back into the studio. 42 days to debut. Mingyu desperately hoped they would make it.

 

 

Day three

 

Yesterday passed with a free diary and Mingyu didn't see Wonwoo at all. There was a note on his desk advising that he needed to check the stock of Red Bull in the little refrigerator in the corner. Mingyu knew that today was the day of the first media photo shoot. Wonwoo had a schedule with a niche fashion magazine including a short print interview and three page photo spread. A pretty sweet pre-debut opportunity. Mingyu was excited. He had been saving reference photos on his work phone and couldn't wait to meet the stylist on set.

He got more and more nervous as 1pm approached. He left the obligatory Red Bull outside the studio at 12:15pm and hoped that Wonwoo would appear. And when he did Mingyu breathed a sigh of relief. For all Wonwoo's personality flaws at least he was professional. Mingyu was learning quickly that Wonwoo wouldn't jeopardise his career.

After enduring the most silent and awkward car ride to the shoot location they piled out. Mingyu carried his own bag and equipment and Wonwoo's also. Wonwoo flipped on his 'polite switch' and flashed a stunning but fake smile at the journalist, photographer, makeup artist and stylist. He was put straight into the chair and the makeup artist began to work on him. Mingyu decided now was the perfect time to launch the social media accounts and snapped a photo of Wonwoo in the makeup chair. He saw the look Wonwoo gave him and he knew he would pay later. Wonwoo wouldn't chastise him in front of these people.

"I'm not wearing that." He said, stone faced, as he stared at the outfit the stylist had selected. The pants were brightly printed in a graphic style and were baggy. The stylist was also holding an oversized white shirt, red tie and a belt about eleven feet long. "Wonwoo." Mingyu's eyes pleaded. "No." He said. He was unmovable. Mingyu panicked. He went to the stylists case and searched for something to pacify Wonwoo. He found a pair of very ripped black jeans and returned with them. "Fine." Wonwoo said and went to get changed. He insisted on wearing his own scuffed black converse and a beanie. The stylist wasn't completely happy but Mingyu was. Wonwoo was dressed and being photographed. It was the best he could hope for.

Mingyu snapped another photo of Wonwoo on set and got permission from the journalist to share them. He set up the Instagram, Facebook and Twitter and linked them all with one password. He shared the two photos from the day, one of Wonwoo in the makeup chair, one of him posing nonchalantly in a chair. Mingyu stared at the photo of his impossibly arrogant boss, his cold stare somehow incredibly hot through the camera lens, his legs spread wide as he slouched on the armchair. He was stunningly good looking. Mingyu smiled at the photo.

_He might be an absolute prick but he's fucking sexy. God, I hate that guy._

He clicked his phone locked and put it in his pocket. He made small talk with the stylist while the journalist interviewed Wonwoo. Mingyu make apologies for his short tempered boss and his refusal to tow the line with the outfit. She just shrugged. "Lots of idols are temperamental. He's not the worst I've ever seen." Mingyu begged to differ. He wondered if she could put up with him for 10 hours a day.

The day was finally over and they were driven back to Pledis. Another long, silent and awkward car ride. Wonwoo put his headphones in and tapped furiously at his iPad. Mingyu guessed he was still writing some of his songs for the mini album. Mingyu monitored the social media and was astonished to see Wonwoo had gained about 25000 followers in just a few hours.

He knew Wonwoo would be mad when he found out.

As they headed into the building they met Seungcheol and Jeonghan in the long corridor talking to two tall, thin and very good looking men wearing expensive suits. They couldn't avoid them. Mingyu knew this was going to be awkward as fuck.

"Coups." Wonwoo eyed the successful rapper coldly.

"Trainee." Seungcheol responded with a smirk.

Mingyu had to stifle a giggle. Seungcheol was the company's most successful rapper and he wasn't going to let some arrogant trainee who hadn't even debuted get one over him. Jeonghan smiled at them all, the ever pleasant peacemaker, and began to make introductions. "Wonwoo, Mingyu." He indicated to the strangers. "This is Minghao and Jun. Our new assistants. They've just moved over from China." Mingyu smiled and shook their hands, bowing politely, and turned to his stonefaced boss. He almost died of shock when he saw Wonwoo smiling at the men. "I'm Wonwoo. Nice to meet you." He said pleasantly. As he shook Jun's hand warmth filled his face. Mingyu watched him with surprise.

As they walked off Wonwoo's cold demeanour returned. "Go back and get his number." Mingyu was confused. "Who? Seungcheol?" Wonwoo rolled his eyes. "No you dumbass. The fucking super hot Chinese guy. Jun. Go and tell him I want his number. But don't let Coups know. Ok?" Mingyu stood rooted to the spot. "Now!" Wonwoo's frustration boiled over and when he snapped at him Mingyu's eyes filled with tears. He quickly turned away and ran after the others as Wonwoo headed in the direction of the studio.

"Hey! Wait up!" Mingyu called out when he saw Jun ahead. It was his lucky day. The other three had returned to the office and Jun was heading out to get coffees. "Hi!" Jun slowed down to wait for the breathless man chasing after him. "Do you need something?" "Ah, yeah, my boss. Wonwoo. He wants your number." Jun began to laugh. "Really? No way!" His laughter died when he saw Mingyu's face drop. "Sorry man. He's really hot but I've heard what an asshole he is. Anyway I have a boyfriend."

Mingyu walked slowly back in the direction of his office. His shoulders were slumped. He knew he was going to pay for this. He never picked Wonwoo as gay. The fact that his new boss was into guys was a revelation. It didn't change anything. If anything it made him a little easier for Mingyu to understand. It was hard for idols to date anyone, let alone another guy, the threat of scandal meant going to great lengths to hide their relationships. Or, as an alternative, being alone. Mingyu sighed. Seungcheol and Jeonghan has done a pretty good job of keeping their relationship a secret. But they were always together anyway. No one suspected their closeness as they were idol and manager. They should be close. It was natural.

Mingyu sighed and looked at the clock. It was time for him to go home and Wonwoo was still holed up in the studio. He grabbed his things and sent him a text.

'It was a no from Jun.'

Mingyu hurriedly left the office. He would deal with the fallout tomorrow.

 

day four

The cold wind howled around Mingyu as he hurried to work. The coffee shop had been busy but he clutched the precious long black in his hand as he finally rounded the corner and into the Pledis building. _At least it's Friday._ He told himself. _Just get through today._

People swarmed everywhere. It was busier at 8:25 than at 8:55 and it suddenly dawned on him that Seungcheol and Jeonghan has been letting him off easy with the 9am start time. And he still had trouble making it. He saw the elevator doors closing and called out "Hold it!" To Mingyu's immense relief he saw the doors beginning to open again and Vernon smiling at him from inside. As he picked up the pace, almost at a jog, he was just about inside the elevator when he tripped over nothing. Mingyu was flat on his face in the middle of a spreading puddle of long black coffee all over the floor.

"Shit!" Vernon ran out of the elevator to help his friend up. Mingyu's entire shirt was soaked in the coffee. He looked down at the mess in dismay. "I'm going to be late!" Mingyu began to panic. "Do you have a spare shirt?" Vernon asked as Mingyu stared at his white polo now stained dark brown and shook his head. Vernon dug into his bag and handed him a shirt. It was about seven sizes too big and had a big graphic print down one sleeve. It was very Vernon. Mingyu had no choice. "Go!" Vernon pushed him into the elevator. "I'll get this cleaned up. Seunkwan will understand. Wonwoo won't." Mingyu smiled sadly at his friend as the doors closed to take him up to level five.

Wonwoo wasn't in the studio. He was sitting at his desk, tapping his pen incessantly, waiting for Mingyu to arrive. When he walked in Wonwoo fixed his cold glare immediately on Mingyu's stained shirt.

"You're late."

"I'm sorry." Mingyu said. "I... the coffee shop was busy, and I tripped and fell..."

"So no coffee?"

Mingyu couldn't meet Wonwoo's eyes. They seemed to hone in on every single shortfall, every inadequacy, every single mistake Mingyu had ever made. Wonwoo could see them all in his eyes. "I'm sorry. It was an accident." He thought for a second that Wonwoo might ask if he was okay but he didn't.

Wonwoo turned back to his desk and picked up his phone. " _Its a no from Jun."_ He read the text aloud. "You couldn't tell me this in person?" Mingyu began to stutter again."I ... I .. I didn't want to disturb you in the studio." He managed to stutter out the words. He was already tired, his head was pounding, his shirt soaked in coffee.

"Did he say why?" Wonwoo asked. "He already has someone else." Mingyu said. "Is it you?" Wonwoo stared at him as cold as ice. Mingyu was confused. "M..m..m.. Me?" He stuttered again. "Yeah you. I've known guys like you all my life. Talk. Good looking. Sweet. Everyone loves guys like you. I bet he took one look at you and handed over his number." Wonwoo sneered, his disdain barely concealed, his eyes hard and vacant. "No." Mingyu was panicking again as Wonwoo got up from the chair and began to walk towards him. "No, no, he said he had a boyfriend already." As Wonwoo began to walk towards him he began to walk backwards.

"Look at you." Wonwoo sneered again as he got closer. "Why are you even working as a Manager? Why aren't you modelling? Why weren't you picked up as a trainee?" Mingyu began to stumble over his words as he felt the wall against his back. "Too scared?" Wonwoo's eyes had switched from cold to mocking. "Talentless?" Mingyu swallowed thickly as Wonwoo moved in closer. "You're so lucky and you don't even know. That's why guys like you shit me off. You could get anything you wanted and you're too fucking stupid to realise." Wonwoo leaned right in and spoke low. "Jun would've handed his phone number over for a guy like you. Even if he does have a boyfriend. How many opportunities do you miss like that just because you're too stupid to see them?"

Mingyu pushed past him and ran. He ran out of the office and down the corridor and into the men's bathroom. He held the tears until he was safely ensconced inside a cubicle where he curled up on the toilet seat and cried.

Just when he was getting his shit together he heard a knock at the door. "Mingyu?" A gentle voice called out. It was Jeonghan. Of course. Someone crying in the toilet was a situation best rectified by one person. Someone would have seen him or heard him and got Jeonghan to come to the rescue. Mingyu opened the door and walked out into Jeonghan's warm embrace. "Are you okay now?" Jeonghan soothed softly as Mingyu began to cry again. "No. Why is he so awful?" Jeonghan stroked the hair of the giant boy in his arms. "I don't know. What did he say to you that got you so worked up?"

They sat out in the corridor while Mingyu relayed the whole morning. Every disaster, every cutting remark, every cold stare. From the spilled coffee to the accusations, Wonwoo's cold hearted attack, Mingyu running away. "Don't let him get to you like that." Jeonghan said. "That's easy for you to say. You're older and stronger." Mingyu picked at his fingernails while he spoke. "Yeah well, something's got to be up with him, there has to be a reason why he's like this. Maybe it will get easier when you guys get used to each other." Jeonghan stood up and pulled Mingyu to his feet. "Don't give up. Stand up to him Mingyu. This is a great opportunity for you so don't let him ruin it for you." Mingyu smiled at him. "Thanks Jeonghan." "Anytime." The beautiful pink haired man smiled sweetly at him. "And Jun wasn't lying - he does have a boyfriend. Him and Minghao are a package deal!" Mingyu just laughed as he walked back to his office. Jeonghan was right. He needed to strengthen up and stand his ground. He couldn't lose this job and he wasn't going to quit.

He strode back into the office with a renewed fortitude. Fuck Wonwoo. Fuck him. He wasn't going to push him around any more. He wanted to be an asshole then Mingyu was going to give back to him as good as he gets.

_I hate that guy. I hate him so much. I'm not going to let him win._

Mingyu stripped off his coffee stained shirt and tossed it into the trash. He walked over to his desk and picked up the hideous shirt loaned to him by Vernon and stretched up as he pulled the shirt over his head. Now dressed, he sat down at his desk, leafing through the diary entries for next week.

He never noticed the figure hanging back near the doorframe as he changed his shirt. He never saw Wonwoo silently watching him from the doorway.

 

 

 

Day seven

The weekend had gone by too quickly. Mingyu had to drag himself into the office. He showed up on time with the obligatory long black and a caramel latte for himself. It was Monday and according to the 'rules' there was to be a meeting this morning. He decided it was time to play hard ball. He arrived at his desk at 8:20am and was seated at the round table in the corner making notes when Wonwoo walked in.

"Good morning." Mingyu said politely but without his usual natural warmth. "Your coffee." He held out the large cup and when Wonwoo took it he looked straight back at his notes. "I'll be ready at 8:50." Mingyu said into his notepad. He could feel a Wonwoo staring at him. He ignored him.

_Fuck. I hate this guy. Just go away and drink your sad bitter coffee._

Mingyu ignored him until exactly 8:50am. "Let's begin." He stared blandly at Wonwoo who sat across from him. "You have a radio interview tomorrow and another photo shoot on Thursday. I've kept next week and the week after free for you to record. You'll have two weeks to record the album. Is that enough?" Mingyu stared at Wonwoo waiting for a response. "Yes. That will be plenty of time." Mingyu thumbed through the diary. "I will try to keep a week free for the music video shooting. The company want two versions so there will be a choreography version as well. You'll have to work hard on learning it." He stared at the diary. " I don't know yet who's doing your choreography."

Mingyu was doing a good job of keeping his emotions under control. He had barely even looked at Wonwoo. He took a big sip of his latte and didn't spill a drop. He was exhausted already. Holding in his natural joy was tiring. He hoped that Wonwoo would just disappear into the studio and stay away from him.

Mingyu was done with the instructions. Wonwoo stared at him in silence and he stared back. Stalemate. Mingyu broke first and stood up from the desk. "Is there anything else?" He asked Wonwoo. "No." Wonwoo said and grabbed his stuff. He disappeared into the studio across the hall with a slight slam of the door.

As he swung around in his chair Mingyu felt like he'd had a small win. He wondered how Wonwoo liked a taste of his own medicine.

He turned on his computer and opened emails. The pictures from the shoot last week had been sent through and they were amazing. Wonwoo could have easily been a model. Mingyu squinted his eyes as he stared at the computer screen. Wonwoo's cold as ice glare emanated from the image in front of him. _Stupid hot and sexy fucking asshole._ Mingyu closed the email abruptly.

Mingyu did the obligatory 12:15pm Red Bull drop off. It irritated him today. He wanted to meet Vernon for lunch and it suddenly dawned on him that the purpose of the timing of the Red Bull schedule was to mess with his lunch. It meant that Mingyu went to lunch late every day.

He made it in time to find Vernon seated at a table with the new guys. Minghao and Jun. Mingyu joined them and talk immediately turned to how Mingyu was coping. "Fuck." Mingyu groaned. "He's impossible." He relayed the events of the last week to the laughter of Vernon and the shocked stares of Minghao. Jun just nodded. "You know the other day when he wanted me to get your phone number?" Mingyu said to Jun who nodded. "He accused me of trying to steal you for myself. Said guys like me always got what they wanted."

Jun laughed. "Sounds like he's got a big chip on his shoulder. Is he under a lot of pressure?" Mingyu shrugged. "I guess. He's got five weeks until debut. Three weeks to have a mini album written and recorded." Jun exhaled. "Does he have the songs written? Do they sound good?" Mingyu blushed. "I haven't heard them. I actually haven't heard him rap. I don't even know if he has any of the songs written." Jun shook his head. "You really need to find out. He should have them written already." Mingyu agreed but he didn't know how he was going to get Wonwoo to agree to it.

Once again he felt like shit. He was a shit manager. His inadequacies were always being exposed and today at lunch he realised he didn't know Wonwoo at all. He had no idea what his music sounded like, what his raps were about, or if he had even written them. He had seen Lee Jihoon, the highly acclaimed producer, coming out of the studio once so he just assumed the production was done and the songs must be already written.

Mingyu was just about to work out how to get Wonwoo to talk to him when his phone rang. The number was unknown.

"Hello?" Mingyu said. "Is this the manager of Jeon Wonwoo?" A voice asked on the other end. "Ah, yes , sorry. This is Mingyu." "This is Lee Chan. Assistant to Kwon Soonyoung." _Kwon Soonyoung. Why did that name sound familiar._ The man continued. "Mr Kwon has agreed to do Wonwoo's choreography for his debut song. He can come tomorrow afternoon and Friday morning. After that it will be up to Wonwoo to practice on his own." Holy shit. Mingyu felt faint. He knew who he was. _Hoshi_. Hoshi was coming tomorrow to do Wonwoo's choreography. "Yes. Not a problem. Thank you Mr Lee." Mingyu stuttered into the phone. "See you tomorrow at 2pm in the main dance practice room." Mr Lee said and he was gone.

This was great news. The company was showing a lot of faith in Wonwoo's debut. Mingyu knew he had to tell him and sooner rather than later.

Mingyu knocked at the studio door. He waited and listened. Silence. He knocked louder. He knocked and knocked and gave up.

He went back into his office and sat at his desk. He decided to text him. He tapped away at his phone and sent a text to Wonwoo telling him the news about Hoshi doing his choreography tomorrow afternoon. Mingyu couldn't believe his idol was going to be in the same room tomorrow. He had seen him before but only from a distance. He hoped that Wonwoo wouldn't embarrass him too much.

 

 

 

Day eight / am

Wonwoo huddled in the corner of the recording studio. He shared it with the other artists on level five but Lee Seokmin was on tour and Nu'est were on hiatus so he basically had it to himself. He had spent the last three months making it his sanctuary. His safe haven away from the pressures of his upcoming debut. Wonwoo just wanted to make music. He wanted to sing and dance and rap. He didn't want to be interviewed or photographed or styled. He hated being observed like a fish in an aquiarium. He hated everything about it. He just wanted to be himself.

Managers came and went. He wasn't busy enough yet to warrant both a manager and an assistant so he was constantly caught in a cycle of being thrown into close contact with someone, one person, he didn't know. They never stayed long enough for him to get comfortable with them. He never got to know any of them. They never got to know him. The real Wonwoo. He hid his anxieties and his inadequacies behind a gruff demeanour. He never had the right words. Sometimes he tried to avoid speaking at all. He knew how he came across. He couldn't help it. He saved all his energy for when he really needed to fake it. He called it wearing his mask.

When he went in for meetings with those who mattered he needed to wear his mask. He put it on, smiled politely and vacantly, and shrank back into his shell when it was over. It was all he knew. He played it up for those who mattered. He didn't bother with anyone else. They didn't care anyway. They didn't care about the real Wonwoo.

Soon people around Pledis stopped bothering. They stopped trying to talk to him, they stopped smiling at him, they stopped looking at him. Wonwoo was happy. It was easier this way. His anxiety levels stayed low when he didn't have to bother. All except for _him_. He never stopped. He always smiled, he always said hello and tried to make conversation with his thick honey voice, he always looked at Wonwoo with that big dopey grin on his face. Wonwoo didn't even know his name. He was tall, even taller than Wonwoo's own 6ft height, and was the most handsome man Wonwoo had ever seen. He had dark hair and smooth honey coloured skin and his smile radiated from within like the glow of a full moon. His friendliness was unstoppable and irrepressible. He was like a giant puppy, always laughing loudly and grinning at everyone, including Wonwoo. Every time he smiled at him Wonwoo wanted desperately to smile back. To chat with him, laugh at whatever was making him laugh, let him know somehow that he was sweet and cute and funny.

No matter how much Wonwoo wanted it, he couldn't make it happen, no matter how hard he tried. His jaw would stiffen, his hands would sweat, and he knew his voice would waver. Instead of saying hello, smiling back, he would just turn and walk away. Walking away was safer. Wonwoo couldn't risk getting hurt. He couldn't risk being laughed at or scrutinised by this mysterious, beguiling, intoxicating man. It would break him.

Wonwoo watched him covertly wherever he went. You could always spot him, a half a head taller than every crowd, his shining eyes always caught somewhere between a smile and outright laughter. He usually ate lunch with another boy, one who was also handsome and happy, but didn't capture Wonwoo with the same appeal. There was only one person in his eyes. It hurt him to see them together every day, joking and chatting, enjoying lunch together. Wonwoo would give anything to be that other boy, the one making the dark haired angel laugh, the one sharing his conversation and his jokes and his fries.

When he heard that the latest assistant slash manager had quit he wasn't too worried. His name was Joshua. He was older than Wonwoo, slightly bossy, and way too intent on doing the right thing. Wonwoo didn't care when he left. He didn't know him anyway. He was too stressed to care. He had his title song written and recorded. But the rest of the album evaded him. He needed 3-5 more songs and he knew time was running out. His mini album would turn out to be a massive bust. His writers block was slowly killing him.

He knew the kind of songs the company wanted. Party time songs, about fun days, dating girls, flower paths and coming of age. The songs in Wonwoos mind were darker. His ideas were about demons. Anxieties, fears, self loathing and struggle. He couldn't get the words out. It just wouldn't happen. He holed himself up in the studio for hour upon hour, his notepad remaining blank, his anxiety rising higher every day.

He had been advised that the name of his new Manager was Kim Mingyu and he would be starting Monday morning. The name meant nothing. He didn't care. He had stayed in the studio all day avoiding social contact with yet another temporary person who was just a minor character in the timeline of his life. He only braved the office when he knew he would be gone for the day. In a fit of frustration over the sudden appearance of a plethora of Hello Kitty items in the office he wrote the list of rules.

The next day, on an otherwise nondescript Tuesday morning, he walked right into his life. The tall guy. The tall handsome boy that everyone loved. The exquisite man with the smooth glowing skin and voice like thick honey. When the new Manager walked into his office Wonwoo's world fell apart at the seams. It was him.

 _Why him? Why did it have to be that guy?_  


Wonwoo knew he had to emerge eventually. He was miserable. Mingyu's exuberant joy, his infectious laughter, his sparkling smile. It had been missing yesterday when they met. Wonwoo had craved it all weekend and when it was finally time for him to get a fix Mingyu had sat across from him with a cold and vacant stare. It was like having a conversation with himself. It was downright depressing.

He knew he had hurt him on Friday when he exploded over the phone number. Wonwoo really thought that Mingyu would refuse to try and get the phone number for him. Any experienced manager would warn him away from the potential scandal. A part of Wonwoo had hoped that Mingyu would get jealous. But his dutiful puppy just bounded off to do his best and it resulted in Wonwoo hurting him. His guilt ate away at him while he forced himself into another exile. He never meant to hurt him but his insecurities took over and he was out of control. He knew he went too far. Wonwoo really thought it would be the end of Mingyu but the guy was waiting at his desk Monday morning like nothing had happened. Except he'd changed. His honey voice was replaced with clinical coldness. His smile had been replaced by a professional demeanour. It was his fault. Wonwoo knew he could only blame himself. And he had no idea how to make things go back. He couldn't change the past.

When he had watched him through the doorway and saw him changing his shirt something stirred inside Wonwoo that scared the shit out of him. He wanted him. He desperately wanted him and he had no way of getting him. He had no ability to show how he felt or verbalise his thoughts or even throw a kind word Mingyu's way.  


Wonwoo walked into the office for the phone interview. He was surprised to see the old Mingyu was back. The boys excitement could hardly be contained. The smile on his face was wide and bright and he was so happy he was hyperactive. He couldn't sit still. "Wonwoo, you're so lucky, I can't believe _THE KWON SOONYOUNG_ , the amazing Hoshi, will be here later!" Mingyu gushed. When Wonwoo discovered the source of Mingyu's happiness a jealous fury burned in the pit of his stomach. "Big deal." He said stone-faced and sat down at his desk. "I don't need a babysitter while I do the interview. Go to an early lunch or something." He spat the words out at Mingyu who turned on his heel and walked out. Wonwoo hated himself all over again. But he wasn't sorry. He didn't want to see Mingyu gushing about some idol. Some cute, personable, charismatic idol. It would be bad enough when he was actually there.

How would he be able to stand seeing his crush fawning all over some other guy. How would he endure it?

 

  


Day eight / pm

Mingyu's excitement was palpable. He had been pacing excitedly all morning, he hadn't slept, he had barely eaten. He got up extra early and wore his best outfit. Neat black jeans and a black turtleneck. He added a pair of green Converse and his favourite white jacket. He smoothed his hair as much as he could and checked his appearance a thousand times.

Relief washed over him when Wonwoo came out to do the phone interview. He was never sure when the man was going to self destruct in front of him. When damage control would be required. He hoped that this afternoon's choreography session would be without incident. It had to go well. Mingyu wanted it to so badly.

He suddenly wondered if Wonwoo would even let him come. After he was so unceremoniously banished from the phone interview he wandered the mostly empty corridors and thought over the events of the last week. Again, like so many times before, he blamed himself. He wished he had started out better with Wonwoo. Even though the guy insisted on being so awful to him Mingyu couldn't give up on him. Even though he hated him.

Wonwoo wasn't going to stop him from meeting Hoshi. His dream was going to come true today and he wasn't going to let that asshole ruin it. Mingyu stalked down to the staff cafe to grab a quick and early lunch. It was eerily quiet. Mingyu was used to being in here in the thick of the crowd. He usually ate his lunch while laughing and joking with any one of the usual crowd who showed up there between 12:00pm and 1:30pm. But he was too early today and there were only a few people milling around minding their own business. Mingyu ordered a hotdog. Comfort food. He needed something to settle his stomach. He grabbed a coke and sat down at the table and bit down. As soon as the hotdog filled his mouth the mustard hit his white jacket and tears filled his eyes. Why did nothing go right for him?

After he ate he rushed back to the office. It was almost Red Bull time and today of all days he couldn't piss Wonwoo off. He walked in to find Wonwoo hanging up the phone from his interview and when he walked over and grabbed the Red Bull out of the fridge he saw the man's eyes travel down to the long yellow mustard stain on his best jacket. Mingyu stared him down. _Say something. Go on. I dare you._ He handed the can over and when his eyes met Wonwoo's he almost caught a glimpse of something there. Something besides the cold blank stare. Something enigmatic and mysterious and barely discernible. The corners of Wonwoo's mouth threatened to turn up but Mingyu didn't let them. He quickly turned away. _He wanted to laugh at me._

Mingyu stalked over to his desk and took off the jacket. He was unhappy with the change in outfit. The black turtleneck he wore was too fitted. It made him look too tall, his neck too long, his legs looked too gangly in the black jeans. But he was stuck with it now and he couldn't do anything about it. He tossed his favourite jacket, stained and ruined, into the wastebin under his desk.

When it was almost time to meet Hoshi Mingyu gathered all his courage. For some unknown reason Wonwoo had remained in their shared office instead of retreating to his hideaway in the studio. Mingyu noticed he hadn't eaten. Did he ever eat? Mingyu was never sent to get food for him. The man must live on coffee and Red Bull. He cleared his throat and spoke quietly and coldly. "Wonwoo, as your manager I think I should hear your songs, at least the title song. I haven't heard any of your work yet." Wonwoo eyed him with suspicion and then got up wordlessly. He plugged his phone into a speaker on the desk and hit play. A smooth beat filled the room. It was cool, chill, and a standard Lee Jihoon masterpiece. Wonwoo's rap was tight. He was amazing. Mingyu was surprised he was so good. When it was done he broke out into a huge grin. His plan of being cold and professional was momentarily forgotten as he enthused about the song. "Wonwoo. It's so good." He glowed as he grinned at the quietly seated man. It was the truth. It was good. It was amazing. Wonwoo's stone hard face was unmoving even when complimented.

_Just another reason to hate this guy. Good looking. Sexy. Talented as fuck. And a jerk._

His thoughts went back to reality immediately. Back to cold restraint. Mingyu turned back to his computer and began to plough through the mountain of emails that had started coming in. He made some notes, typed a document, walked over to the printer. He could feel Wonwoo's eyes on him the whole time. Why was he insisting on hanging out here? Mingyu wished he would just go to the studio and get away from him. He staring was unnerving.

_Why is he just sitting there staring at me?_

Mingyu was fed up. "Do I have something on my face?" He snapped. Wonwoo just averted his eyes. He got up and went into the bathroom. When he came out he was dressed in grey sweatpants and a white v neck tshirt. He wore the same battered pair of black converse he seemed to pair with everything. Mingyu watched him tie the laces and walk to the small refrigerator and grab another Red Bull. He cracked it open and tipped his head back and Mingyu's eyes wandered down his chest, settling on Wonwoo's slim waist, and back up to the visible skin of his chest in the oversized v neck. He watched his prominent Adam's apple bounce as he sculled down the whole can. "What? Do I have something on my face?" He snapped when he saw Mingyu watching him. Mingyu just checked the time. "We better get going." Was all he said as he stood up and gathered his stuff. "What do you mean 'we'?" Wonwoo mumbled quietly. For the first time he sounded defeated before he even fought. And he was. Mingyu was not getting left behind. "I need to be there and you know it." Mingyu snapped sharply as they headed down the corridor towards the practice room.

They entered to find two men already there. "Hi. I'm Chan." Hoshi's Manager looked young but acted professional and capable. Mingyu knew he must be. And then it happened. He was here, walking towards them, Mingyu felt like it was all happening in slow motion. "Hi. I'm Soonyoung. It's nice to meet you both." He was taller than Mingyu expected. Not as tall as him, or Wonwoo, but taller than he looked on tv. His skin was flawless and his smile was pure sunshine. And his eyes were so unique and captivating. Mingyu all but swooned. Wonwoo barely grunted at him. When he saw Hoshi's subtle reaction to Wonwoo's rudeness Mingyu wanted to die of embarrassment.

While the two men danced Chan and Mingyu chatted. Mingyu found out Hoshi had been reluctant to work with Wonwoo. His reputation in the industry was building. The company had to make some serious concessions surrounding Hoshi's next comeback to get him to agree to this. "What do you suggest?" Mingyu asked the younger but more experienced manager. He just shrugged. "I don't know. Personality transplant?" They both laughed.

Mingyu tried to pretend he wasn't watching but he could tell it wasn't going well. Wonwoo was having trouble remembering the choreography. He could do the moves just fine. But he only had the first 16 counts down. "Hey Mingyu! Come and film it. We're running out of time." Hoshi called out and Mingyu flew to his feet. He still couldn't believe his name just came out of Hoshi's mouth. Best day ever.

He sat on the floor and filmed Hoshi as he went through the whole dance. He was absolutely captivating. And Mingyu was mesmerised. The way he moved his body was addicting. He was finished and standing still for a long time before Mingyu realised he was still filming. "Work on it. Get Mingyu to help you. See you Friday." Hoshi said over his shoulder as he promptly left with Chan in tow.

"I'm hitting the shower." Wonwoo stared and sulkily walked off leaving Mingyu alone to process the afternoons events alone.

 

 

Day ten

Another photo shoot today. This one didn't hold the same excitement for Mingyu. Now all he felt was a looming sense of dread. He knew that he was going to endure a silently awkward car ride only to be tortured when the destination was reached. He continued his cool and calm demeanour towards Wonwoo when he saw him and breathed a sense of relief when he didn't. The day after Hoshi came to do the choreography Wonwoo wasn't sighted. Mingyu had brought the coffee but it sat untouched. The Red Bull disappeared from outside the studio door when he wasn't looking.

This morning he at least came out and got his coffee. Mingyu didn't smile at him. Wonwoo responded to him with disdain and vanished back into the studio. Mingyu did his work silently and diligently, left the Red Bull at 12:15pm, and headed to lunch.

"How are things with Mr Wonderful?" Mingyu joked. "Wonderful." Vernon gushed. "You should hear his new album. It's going to be huge! He sings like an angel!" Mingyu sulked into his lunch. "How are things with Mr Asshole?" Jun chuckled. "Awful." Mingyu looked up at the three sympathetic faces staring at him. "Everything I do pisses him off. I've tried giving him a taste of his own medicine but it's so tiring being rude and mean all the time." Mingyu picked at his salad. "Nothing makes a difference. At least I got to hear one of his songs."

Vernon was immediately interested. "How was it?" "It was impressive. He's so talented." Mingyu groaned as he gathered up his leftovers to eat on the way to the shoot. "Turns our Mr Asshole is actually Mr Super Talented Asshole." Jun laughed. "That's good though. Stick it out and this will be great for your career. Have you ever heard the saying "You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar?" Mingyu shook his head and laughed. "My Grandmother used to say it all the time. Why not try smothering him with kindness instead? That will probably piss him off more than being cold to him." Mingyu thought about it as he got up from the table. Being extra nice. At least it would come naturally and be less tiring. Couldn't possibly make things any worse. He stopped past the counter on the way out and picked up another salad and an extra bottle of water.

Back at the office Mingyu gathered his things into his backpack. He added his phone and the big leather bound diary that was slowly filling up as Wonwoo's debut grew closer. He added his leftover salad and the extra things he had bought and when Wonwoo finally emerged they walked wordlessly to the car.

_Time to change tactics._

Mingyu held the door for Wonwoo and let him climb in first. Once he was settled Mingyu climbed into the van and took the rear facing seat directly across from Wonwoo. Usually he would sit as far away as possible. When Wonwoo looked up at him with a confused and sour expression Mingyu just smiled. The sour expression softened into indifference when counteracted by Mingyu's beaming smile. As the van moved out of the car park Mingyu rifled through his backpack and handed the salad and water across to Wonwoo. "What's this for?" He said suspiciously. Mingyu beamed at him again. "I know you haven't eaten. You need to eat." He said gently. Wonwoo stared at the food in his lap and then back at Mingyu. "If you don't want it....." Mingyu started to say and leaned over to take it back but Wonwoo pulled it close. "I'll eat it." He said without looking Mingyu in the eye. He opened the lid and picked a piece of chicken out. He chewed it slowly as Mingyu watched him.

_Success._

He watched Wonwoo eat most of the salad and took the rubbish back from him when he was done. "I don't eat seafood. Just so you know." Wonwoo said quietly as he stared out the window. He didn't look Mingyu in the eye but Mingyu beamed at him anyway. "I'll make sure to remember that!"

Once they arrived at the shoot Mingyu kept up his attentive and pleasant routine. It was easier and less tiring than trying to be an asshole. There was no interview, just the photo shoot, the photos would be used by the company for his pre debut publicity. Mingyu stayed two steps behind Wonwoo, making sure everything was right, asking if he needed anything. As he sat in the makeup chair Mingyu sensed his discomfort. He leaned in and whispered to see if Wonwoo was okay. "No. I'm not. That's too much makeup. No more eyeliner." Wonwoo seethed. Mingyu pulled the makeup artist aside and politely told her to stop. One of his trademark beaming smiles eased the situation. Mingyu went back to Wonwoo and looked at his face. She had been a little heavy handed. Mingyu grabbed a makeup wipe and leaned in close as he gently dragged it under each of Wonwoo's eyes. "Better?" He asked and Wonwoo nodded as he looked in the mirror.

Mingyu felt confused as he walked away. For the first time he thought he caught a glimpse of something else besides the cold hard steel of Wonwoo's exterior. He was sure he had seen a crack, a flaw in the seemingly perfect armour, a fleeting sense of who he was inside.

Mingyu stood behind the photographer as he snapped away. There had been no fights with the stylist, no issues with the set, no need to coax or cajole Wonwoo into anything he didn't want to do. He was seated on a stool on an all white set. He wore a black tshirt, black ripped jeans and had given up his converse for a heavy pair of black combat boots. His shiny dark hair, usually falling softly over his face, had been styled back off his forehead.

As Wonwoo posed nonchalantly, his hard gaze aimed right at the camera, Mingyu couldn't take his eyes off him. He was mesmerising, captivating, he really was beautiful. As he shifted positions he caught Mingyu's eye and held his gaze. Mingyu looked away, embarrassed, he had been caught staring. He never knew what would set Wonwoo off into rage. But as Wonwoo's eyes turned away from Mingyu and back towards the camera his stone cold eyes sparkled and his mouth turned from sulky to the slightest of smirks. "Excellent!" The photographer was pleased with this sexy expression now playing across Wonwoo's face. Mingyu stared hard at him as he posed.

_I still hate him. No matter how fucking hot he looks._

_I still hate him._

The van ride back was silent. Mingyu was becoming used to the silence. It was better than arguing. He knew his revamped plan of attack had worked. He had been kind and attentive all afternoon and they hadn't argued once. They hadn't butted heads over anything. As Mingyu stared out the window thinking about the sliver of light he glimpsed through Wonwoo's hard exterior he heard the other man shift nervously in his seat.

"Thanks." Wonwoo said quietly.

"You're welcome." Mingyu replied. He didn't know what the thanks was for but he accepted it wholeheartedly.

 

 

Day eleven/ am

"You're late." Wonwoo seethed. "I couldn't help it. I fell and dropped your coffee again..." Mingyu said as he looked down. He was shirtless. Where was his shirt? Who comes to work with no shirt on?

"Excuses." Wonwoo whispered, his voice husky with arousal, as he backed Mingyu up against the desk. "I'm sick of your excuses." Wonwoo's mouth murmured against his cheek before it made its way down his neck, only stopping to linger at his ear, nipping at his earlobe. Mingyu shivered in delight as goosebumps sprang up all over his body. "If this is how you punish me I'll have to be late more often." He closed his eyes and tipped his head back allowing Wonwoo to find new places to put his tongue on Mingyu's soft honey skin.

"What else have you done wrong? Anything I should know about?" Wonwoo's hands were all over his bare chest, searching, wandering, lingering over his nipples. "Ah, fuck, I'll think of something...." Mingyu gasped and arched his body into the sensation. Wonwoo took one of his nipples between his thumb and forefinger and squeezed it just enough to make Mingyu moan. His closed eyes and parted lips were too much. Wonwoo pressed his mouth down hard onto Mingyu's and let their tongues fight, then caress, then just lazily languish against each other.

Mingyu felt hands travel down his stomach and linger on the button of his jeans. Wonwoo broke their kiss and dropped to his knees, fiddling urgently with Mingyu's zip fly, finally pulling them down. Mingyu's erection was stiff and enticing and Mingyu saw Wonwoo licking his lips in delicious anticipation. He closed his eyes again, his elbows on the desk, his whole body trembling in anticipation. He felt cold air hit the hot skin of his bare cock, he felt Wonwoo's thin fingers travelling up his thighs, he felt.....

He felt the cold light of day hit him like a ton of bricks as the alarm sounded next to his head. All he felt was himself wake up.

Mingyu palmed desperately at his hot erection. He rolled over and pressed it into the mattress and groaned. What the fuck? He hadn't had a sex dream since he was in high school. And Wonwoo? Why would he dream about Wonwoo? And now he was awake and alone with the biggest hard on he'd had in a long time.

_I hate that guy. He's ruining my fucking life._

Mingyu headed for the shower. He had a big day and he hadn't planned on starting it by spraying his cum all over the shower tiles but he also hadn't planned on jerking off over a wild fantasy of Wonwoo sucking his dick either. Sometimes things just didn't work out the way you had planned.

Realisation washed over him as he waited patiently for a long black and a bubble tea. He was coming again! The perfectly amazing superstar Hoshi was meeting them again this morning! Mingyu wished he knew his coffee preference as he stood in the cafe line waiting for Wonwoo's long black. Of course, any morning coffee needs will have been taken care of the efficient Lee Chan, but Mingyu still thought it would be an honour to bring Hoshi a coffee. He was even cuter in person with his flawless vanilla skin and his captivating eyes that disappeared into his frequent and easy smiles.

He rushed into the office and was just in time to find Wonwoo waiting. "Good morning." Mingyu offered the coffee along with a wide grin. "Morning." Wonwoo said, albeit with his trademark sulk, and Mingyu almost reeled with surprise. It wasn't quite a 'good morning' but it was better than the inaudible grunt he was used to.

_Maybe you do catch more flies with honey._

"We should go." Mingyu said and Wonwoo grabbed his bag. He was already dressed in sweats and a sleeveless tshirt. Mingyu had tried to dress impressively again, choosing a grey v neck sweater paired with black jeans. He was careful not to spill anything on himself. He matched Wonwoo's long strides as they made their way to the dance practice room.

Mingyu watched Wonwoo miss the same 8 counts over and over again. He could see the frustration building in both men. The ever professional choreographer was holding his patience. The infuriated student almost at his breaking point. They were running out of time. "Hey." Hoshi called out to Mingyu to come over. "Didn't you film this the other day?" Mingyu gulped and nodded. He had watched it over and over, to his own embarrassment, but who wouldn't if they had a video like that of their celebrity crush. "You watch it?" Hoshi asked again. Mingyu nodded and tried to keep the flush from his cheeks. "Good. Did he?" Mingyu shook his head.

Hoshi directed Wonwoo to take a drinks break and took Mingyu in front of the mirrors. "Can you dance?" He asked. "Well enough." Mingyu said nervously. "I really can't spare anymore time with him. I don't know why he can't get it. Can you learn it and help him?" Hoshi asked, his sparkling eyes matching the gleam of sweat on his forehead, favour sought through his expression. Wow. Hoshi is asking me for something? To dance with him? It was a dream come true.

They stood side by side and the track played. Mingyu knew the choreography off by heart. He went through it once with Hoshi then once by himself. "Wow!" Hoshi grinned at him as he panted for breath. "You're really good. And a quick learner!" Hoshi's face had turned from exasperation to enthusiasm with the change of student. Mingyu swooned. He couldn't help it. A pink blush painted the smooth honey skin of his cheeks as he smiled shyly at Hoshi's praise. This was the best moment of his life.

Mingyu sculled half a bottle of water and turned around to the unexpected fury of Wonwoo. "Who do you think you are?" Wonwoo said, anger burned in his voice, a quiet seething rage. "What do you mean?" Mingyu asked. He was shaken. He didn't know he was doing something wrong. "I'm learning it so I can help you." Hurt filled his face and spread up to his eyes as tears threatened to spill.

_Not in front of Hoshi. Do not cry in front of Hoshi._

"You're fucking showing me up. That's what you're doing. Making me look fucking stupid." Wonwoo was shouting now and completely oblivious to the open mouthed stares of Hoshi and Chan. "And could you be any more embarrassing? The way you're throwing yourself at him?" Wonwoo threw a pointed glare at Hoshi. "You're just making a fool of yourself. It's pathetic."

Mingyu wanted to run. He wanted to cry, and run, and hide away in the toilet again. But instead he held his conviction. He walked over to Hoshi and Chan and gathered all his internal strength. "I apologise if my behaviour has been out of line today. I hope not as I would like to work with you both in the future." Mingyu bowed politely to the two shocked men, scraped up his belongings, and walked out of the room.

Hoshi, the usually sweet faced smiling idol, turned to Wonwoo with a rage previously unseen. "You're such an asshole. Everyone said you were but I really didn't think you could be as bad as the rumours. But do you know what? You're actually worse. Keep this up and no one will want to work with you. Ever." Hoshi was wild. He hated nothing more than idols treating their staff badly. "If you don't treat that boy better someone will snatch him out from under your nose. And good luck getting another Manager. He's the last one. Everyone else has already quit or is refusing to even try." Hoshi stalked out of the room with Chan following quickly behind, leaving a stunned Wonwoo behind, completely still in his solitary silence.

 

 

Day eleven / pm

Wonwoo was sick of being a fuck up. He stood in the middle of the dance studio, totally alone, desperation and exhaustion pouring down his cheeks. What just happened?

Everything had been going so well. Mingyu had gone back to normal and was once again generous with his heart warming smiles. He had been sweet and attentive and made Wonwoo feel like he was the most important person in the world. And he had just fucked it all up again.

He was trying so hard to get the choreography, but with Hoshi's high expectations and Mingyu watching his every move, he just couldn't get it. So to see Mingyu pick it up instantly was heartbreaking. And Mingyu's pink cheeked glow at Hoshi's praise was a knife in the stomach, twisted by their shared smiles, driven deeper by Wonwoo's miserable jealousy. He wondered if he would ever be able to make Mingyu blush like that.

Finally it was all too much and he exploded. Again. He had fucked it up big time again. And in front of a well respected person like Hoshi. He deserved the chastising he received. Hoshi was totally right. After seeing the hurt in Mingyu's eyes he deserved it and more.

And as he stood in the middle of the room, slow tears making rivers down his cheeks, he realised he had to do something. He had to fix it. He couldn't lose Mingyu from his life. He couldn't lose him as a manager and he couldn't bear to go on without his generous smiles. The promise of hearing his thick honey voice was the only thing keeping Wonwoo coming to work these days.

But how?

The only way he felt comfortable. He went to his backpack and found his phone. He sat cross legged on the floor and typed out a message before reading it and rereading it.

**_I'm sorry. I need you. Please don't quit._ **

He hit send and waited until it showed 'read.' He sat there on the floor alone for who knows how long. He went over things in his mind, he couldn't push them out, the torture of reliving every harsh word he said was destroying him inside. He finally shook himself free from his daze. Wonwoo gathered his belongings and steeled his mind. He needed help. He had to try and make it right.

He walked into the office to find Mingyu stoic at his desk. He was typing away at an email and he looked up when Wonwoo walked in. Wonwoo avoided his gaze but Mingyu spoke anyway as Wonwoo went to the refrigerator for a Red Bull. "I forgive you. I don't know why but I do. But please don't embarrass me like that anymore." Mingyu spoke softly and carefully. Wonwoo could have died. _I don't deserve him. I don't deserve any of this._ He cracked open the can and emptied the whole lot into his mouth. More. Keep going. He mentally pushed himself to keep trying.

He cleared his throat nervously. "Can you help me with the choreography please." Wonwoo still couldn't look at him. He walked over to his desk and rifled though his bag for a change of clothes. Anything to avoid looking at Mingyu, the person he needed the most, the person who he only seemed to hurt. He grabbed a pair of jeans out of his bag and looked up to see Mingyu in front of him with a box of sandwiches and a chocolate milk. "Only if you eat first." Mingyu grinned at him. "I know it's against the rules for me to eat in here so I already ate mine at the staff cafe." Wonwoo realised Mingyu was rushing through his words, defending himself before he'd even been accused, and his stomach twisted. He took the food and sat at his desk and began to eat.

_Why? After I was so awful to him? I literally tore strips off him, for no good reason, and in front of his idol. And he's worried about me eating?_

Guilt and shame fought for dominance as Wonwoo chewed his food. He drank his milk and as soon as he was done he got up. Wordlessly, he grabbed his bag, and Mingyu's attentiveness was demonstrated when he immediately followed him to the door.

Sweat poured from their bodies. Wonwoo worked hard as he watched Mingyu dance with concentration and intensity. He was a great dancer. He was wasted as a Manager. He really should have been an idol. Wonwoo suppressed a smirk when he realised they probably would both be better off if they switched roles. Mingyu would be the charming and charismatic idol, stealing hearts all over the country, and Wonwoo would be the intense and efficient Manager keeping his life under control. His concentration lapsed, he missed the last eight counts, and he swore in frustration.

"What happened? You almost had it." Mingyu said. Disappointment was clear on his face but his voice was soothing as he spoke. "I've got a lot on my mind." Wonwoo said as he looked up. He had been avoiding Mingyu's eyes all morning but this time he let them meet. His own dark brown eyes met the black depths of Mingyu's and Wonwoo was transfixed. This was why he avoided looking at him. He drowned in the deep black water of Mingyu's eyes, losing himself for a while, he didn't know how long. But now he was looking at him he couldn't look away. He felt like he was suffocating, like he was swimming towards the surface but couldn't break through, but it was a beautiful pain that he never wanted to end.

Mingyu reached out towards him. Wonwoo held his breath as his honey voice once again soothed and smothered his soul. "I'm here for you. Whatever you need. Ok?" Mingyu put his hand on Wonwoo's shoulder and for the briefest of seconds he thought Mingyu was going to draw their bodies together and pull him into a hug. But instead he jumped back. "I'm sorry. The rules." Mingyu panicked as he remembered rule number 2. "I didn't mean to touch you without permission." As Mingyu turned and walked back to the centre of the room, preparing to go through the choreography again, Wonwoo silently cursed himself. _Those stupid fucking rules. What was I thinking?_

He stood next to Mingyu and they went through the routine again and again and again. He got it. After what felt like a million times he finally got it. The joy on Mingyu's face was evident. As the tall man smiled warmly at him it was all the reward he needed. "Thank you." Wonwoo said quietly and allowed himself to dip into Mingyu's black irises for the briefest of moments. "You're welcome." Mingyu said with the softest of gentle smiles.

 

 

Day fourteen

Recording week. Mingyu hoped they would get through it alive. He wandered along the hallway with a long black in one hand and a milk tea with extra bubbles in the other. He'd spent the weekend in quiet contemplation over the events of last week. He felt like he was making progress. He felt like Wonwoo was finally letting him in. It was slow but frustrating work.

Mingyu was finding the earlier starts much more manageable now. He was in a routine and it was getting easier to stick to. With Wonwoo's behaviour becoming more predictable to him he was finding himself able to think more assertively. Which was great because he still had a few major hurdles to get over. One was the songs. Recording was this week. He needed to know the songs were written. Another was the hair. The company insisted on a cut and dye. And then there was the social media. He had made a few posts but not enough. The company were on him to ramp it up. He didn't know how. Wonwoo would never agree.

He rode the elevator and strode into the office. His confidence was renewed every time he had a little win with his temperamental boss. The choreography on Friday afternoon was a little win. As he pushed the door open and walked to his desk he found a sticky note on his keyboard. One sentence.

**_Tear the rules up._ **

Mingyu pulled his chair out and found a plastic wrapped package. Curious, he tore it open, and found his white jacket. His favourite white jacket, the one he ruined the day Hoshi first met with them, a dry cleaning slip attached to the collar. He shook it out and his heart skipped with joy when he saw the yellow mustard stain was gone. But who? He threw the jacket on and sat at his desk. His Hello Kitty clock ticked at him. His favourite Hello Kitty plushie, dressed in a cheerful sunflower dress and yellow bow, sat next to his computer. His Hello Kitty desk set, his pens and pencils and ruler, they were all back. Someone had gone through his desk and got all his things out.

It had to be him. It could only be Wonwoo.

Happiness flooded through Mingyu as he looked at all his favourite things. Then his eyes fell on one he hadn't seen before. It was a little ceramic Hello Kitty statue. She was wearing a pink and black plaid dress and pink glasses. She was so cute. He picked her up and turned her over in his hands. Had Wonwoo bought this for him? He must have. No one else was allowed in here but the two of them. And, let's face it, Wonwoo's personality wasn't exactly enticing visitors to their office.

Mingyu put his new Hello Kitty in a place of honour on his computer where he could look at her all the time. When he thought about Wonwoo picking her out and buying her a warmth spread across his face. He must have picked her out himself. He couldn't have sent his assistant because Mingyu was the assistant. The more he thought about it the more it made him feel weird. He couldn't work Wonwoo out. Most of the time the guy acted like he hated Mingyu's guts, like even just his existence was an offence to him, like his presence was a trial to be endured. And then he goes out and does something like this.

Mingyu checked his emails and examined the photos from the shoot. He inhaled sharply as he stared at the computer screen and Wonwoo stared back at him. Wonwoo's expression was pure heat. His eyes glittered and his lip curled up into a sexy smirk. One hand was in his hair, pushing the dark locks back from his forehead, the other hand hanging from the belt loop of his jeans.

Fuck. Why is he so hot? Ugh, I hate him, so much.

Twenty minutes later Wonwoo emerged for their regular 8:50am meeting. He looked terrible. Black circles ringed his eyes and his usually glossy hair sat flat and limp on his head. He squinted and rubbed his eyes as Mingyu held the coffee out towards him.

"Thanks for getting my jacket fixed." Mingyu beamed. "Yeah, well, don't you know how laundry works? Or do you just like to throw something away as soon as you think it's ruined without giving it a second chance?" Ouch. Mingyu cringed at Wonwoo's sharp words. He stared down at his lap before regaining his fortitude. He opened his diary, stealing a glance at Wonwoo, concern building over his appearance. "Ok. Recording this week and next week. That gives you a maximum of two days per song. You are doing six songs right?" Mingyu asked. He knew the title track was done. Five more would be ideal. Wonwoo just stared blankly at him.

"Okay. Moving on then." Mingyu knew this was going to be hard. "Your appointment with the hair stylist is Thursday afternoon. I can't get you out of this. I'm sorry Wonwoo." Wonwoo just stared. His lack of response was becoming unnerving. Mingyu shuffled in his seat. "I've started your social media. I'll be releasing one of the photos from last weeks promotional shoot later today. Ok?" Wonwoo just nodded. "That all?" He said as he got up to leave. "Ah. Yeah?" Mingyu said and Wonwoo disappeared back into the studio across from the office.

Mingyu leaned back in his chair. He was uneasy. He was used to Wonwoo's moods now. They usually swung predictably from silently sullen to outright rage. But the Wonwoo that was in front of him before wasn't angry or rude or sulky. He was vacant. Oh well. Just another side of his personality to get used to. Mingyu tried to tell himself. But he had a sinking feeling in his stomach that something was very wrong.

_Why should I care? I hate that guy. And he hates me._

But as Mingyu's eyes fell onto the cute little Hello Kitty on his computer his constitution wavered. How could Wonwoo be such an asshole but then turn around and do something so sweet and unexpected. He picked the little figurine up and held her up to his face. He pouted his lips out towards her in an exaggerated kiss and snapped a selfie with his phone. He giggled at the cute photo and sent it to Wonwoo's phone. It would either make him laugh or make him hate Mingyu even more. Mingyu hoped it would at least make him smile.

He returned from lunch with a salad for Wonwoo and left it at the studio door, along with the red bull, at exactly 12:15pm. He knew Wonwoo had said to tear the rules up but he really didn't mind. But when he left for the day, and the food and Red Bull were still sitting outside the door. Mingyu didn't know if he should be concerned. Wonwoo was a grown man, not a baby, and Mingyu pushed his worry out of his mind and left for the day.

 

 

Day sixteen

Mingyu was worried. Yesterday the Red Bulls disappeared but Wonwoo hadn't been sighted since Monday. It was now Wednesday. No one had been seen coming or going from the studio and Mingyu was starting to freak out. He did something he knew he would probably regret.

The assistant waved him in. He knocked on the door of the large corner office labelled Lee Jihoon. "Come in." A voice called and he entered the office of Pledis' most prolific and successful producer. "Sit. What brings you here today?" Jihoon indicated the couch while he took a large high backed chair for himself. Mingyu cleared his throat. "Mr Lee, I need to know, Ah— have you done Wonwoo's songs?" Jihoon looked at him curiously. "You're his Manager. Why are you in here asking me?" Mingyu shifted nervously in his seat. There was something about his cold stare that reminded him of, well, of Wonwoo. "Honestly. He's been holed up in the studio for weeks. I haven't seen him for days. I don't think he's eating and I'm worried." When in doubt just be honest, Mingyu decided, together he and Wonwoo were already fast becoming the outcasts of Pledis.

A warmth was visible behind Jihoons glare. "Well. I'm glad someone else is worried about him. He's got the tracks but he insisted that he was still 'perfecting' the lyrics. He was supposed to contact me yesterday to set a time to do some more recording and I haven't heard from him." Cold realisation washed over Mingyu like a cleansing shower. He hasn't written the other songs.

_Fuck. Why didn't he just tell me. Ugh._

_I hate that guy._

"Thank you Mr Lee, for your time, and your concern. I'll sort this out for you straight away." Mingyu got up and bowed as left and went back down to the fifth floor.

He stood outside the studio and pressed his ear against the door. He heard nothing. No rapping, no singing, no talking. No movement. Mingyu decided desperate times called for desperate measures. He grabbed his jacket and his wallet and headed out of the building.

He wandered along the city street with his hands stuffed inside his pockets. A conversation from last week played over and over in his mind. He had literally had about three conversations with Wonwoo in the last three weeks so this one was hard to forget.

_"What happened? You almost had it."_

_"I've got a lot on my mind."_

Why didn't he ask him what? As far as he knew Wonwoo didn't have anyone else to talk to. He only tolerated Mingyu and Jihoon. He should have asked him what was on his mind, what was bothering him, he should have forced him to open up somehow. He needed to be there for him now more than ever. He had to get him through this debut. _For the sake of my career._ Mingyu told himself. Not because I care about him.

He walked past the sushi restaurant and wrinkled his nose. Sushi was his favourite but Wonwoo had made his feelings pretty clear about seafood. He made his way to the chicken place that he liked. What better to smooth the way than a big bucket of fried chicken. Mingyu ordered enough boneless pieces to feed them, added fries and cokes, and was satisfied with his decision.

As he returned to the fifth floor he fetched a red bull and added it to the lunch. It was make or break time. That fucking studio door was their last barrier, Wonwoo's wall, his last remaining shield to hide behind. And it was coming down now. Mingyu looked at his watch. 12:15. Time for battle.

"Open up." He banged on the door loudly and yelled. No answer. "Open up. I know you're in there. If you don't let me in I'm coming in anyway."

Mingyu gave him a minute before he turned the handle. To his immense relief the door swung open. It wasn't locked. Finally Mingyu was inside Wonwoo's inner sanctum, his hideaway, his fortress. He looked around in surprise. Far from being lived in, the studio was mostly bare, with the only signs of life being the pillow and blanket on the couch and the line of empty red bull cans on the sink. Mingyu rounded the corner into the recording area and found him.

Seated on the floor, legs pulled up to his chest, was Wonwoo. His phone sat on the floor next to his notepad which was open to a blank page. His pen sat neatly on top. Wonwoo hadn't noticed Mingyu's entry into the studio and just sat staring off into the distance.

"Hey." Mingyu said, making his voice as smooth and soft as he could. "Hey. Are you okay?" He moved closer to Wonwoo carefully.

"What the fuck?" Wonwoo snapped out of his catatonic daze and was wild. "I thought you knew never to come in here!" His eyes had changed from blank to furious. He stood up angrily, knocking the notebook aside, the pen spinning across the floor. "Yeah well you haven't eaten." Mingyu ignored his rage and went over to the kitchenette and began unpacking the chicken. "I know you haven't finished the songs. And hiding away in here fucking starving yourself isn't helping anyone." Mingyu opened the boxes of chicken and fries, unpacked the Cokes, and turned towards Wonwoo with the red bull. "I can help you, you know, but you need to let me."

"Get the fuck out now!" Wonwoo yelled. Mingyu didn't fail to notice the tears in his eyes as he screamed at him. "Or what?" He challenged. "What are you going to do? Make me? Hit me? Fire me?" Mingyu just smiled at him. "Go on then." He stared him down, staring right into Wonwoo's eyes, seeing them fill to the brim with hot tears of anger. He stared and Wonwoo stared back and no one moved.

Finally Wonwoo broke. The tears escaped and ran down his cheeks like tiny rivers across smooth sand. He gasped for breath as he broke down, his shoulders shaking, his knees weak. Just when he thought they were going to give in, when they shook and wavered and finally failed him, he began to drop to the floor. But he didn't hit the floor. He landed instead in the safe and strong embrace of Mingyu. Mingyu's arms held him tight while he shook and sobbed and let all of his stress and worry flow out of his body. He cried for what felt like forever to him but was actually only a few minutes.

When his sons became little hiccups Mingyu finally released his hold on Wonwoo's body. "Feel better?" He asked. Wonwoo stared at the floor but nodded. "Good. Because I'm hungry!" Mingyu chuckled and shoved the chicken towards Wonwoo as he sat down on the couch. Mingyu took the couch as well and began to eat. As they ate in silence the tension in the air began to abate. "You know, you need to let me help you, it's my job." Mingyu's soothing honey voice was full of concern. He thought carefully while he chewed another piece of chicken. "You don't really care." Wonwoo mumbles into a mouthful of fries. Mingyu's head snapped towards Wonwoo in his own fury. "Bullshit. Don't start on me with that shit. Do you think I'd be bringing you meals out of my own pay check if I didn't fucking care?" Tears of hurt filled Mingyu's eyes. "You don't pay me that much you know. You think if I didn't care I wouldn't be worried about you eating, I wouldn't be in here making sure you're still alive, I would have quit by now if I didn't care. So dont ever try to say I don't care."

Mingyu packed up his leftovers. He stood up to leave but was surprised when Wonwoo grabbed his arm. "Don't leave. Please." He looked down in shame. "You're right. I haven't written the songs. I need help." Mingyu's anger softened immediately. "I'll stay with you. I'll try to help."

Why am I so weak when it comes to this guy?

 

 

Day seventeen

Yesterday was a breakthrough. After Wonwoo had cried it out and eaten chicken like he hadn't eaten for a month they had called it a day. Mingyu left first. He suspected Wonwoo had been sleeping at the studio but he wasn't sure. But he didn't want to push it. Not too far.

He headed into the office without coffees. Wonwoo had told him to tear the rules up and he was. He had an idea and he hoped wonwoo wouldn't give him too much trouble. He walked in to find Wonwoo seated behind his desk looking over the promotional pictures from last weeks photo shoot on his computer. "Which one did you post on social media?" Wonwoo asked and Mingyu leaned over him. He scrolled down to the one where Wonwoo was smirking, a small grin on his lips, his sexy stare aimed right down the camera. Wonwoo smiled, shocking Mingyu to the core, but at least he seemed Please with the choice.

"I like this photo." Wonwoo said as he turned towards Mingyu who was still leaning over him. "Good." Mingyu said as he was suddenly aware of the lack of space between them. He moved back quickly as his honey skin blushed pink.

Why is he making me feel this way? Anyone would think I had a crush on him or something.

"No coffee?" Wonwoo's stare was cold but his voice was even and calm. It seemed like he was trying very hard to be nice. Mingyu relaxed a little and appreciated it. He was trying. It was a step in the right direction.

"No. Not in here." Mingyu smiled at him. "We're free until your stylist appointment at 4pm. We're getting out of this place for a while." Wonwoo was too confused to argue. When Mingyu grabbed their bags and tossed Wonwoo's jacket towards him he just complied without question.

They headed down to the carpark under the Pledis building and Mingyu pulled out the keys from his pocket. He had booked a car for them without a driver and as Wonwoo went for the back door Mingyu laughed. "Get in the front! We're not Manager and Idol today. You don't have to like me but you could at least pretend for a day." He pretended he didn't see the hurt cross Wonwoo's face.

Mingyu softened. He shouldn't have said that. "Is there anywhere you like to go to think?" He asked and Wonwoo shook his head silently as he stared out the window. "Fine. Let's go where I want to go then." Mingyu pulled away from the building and turned from the side street onto a main road.

They drove for about a half hour through traffic before hitting the open highway. Mingyu pulled over at a service station and ran inside. When he came out with two hot coffees Wonwoo finally cracked a smile. He took the coffee and sipped it too quickly. "Aaahhh!" He squeaked as he burned his tongue a little and Mingyu couldn't help himself. He cracked up laughing. His eyes crinkled shut and his golden honey skin flushed pink as all his teeth came out on display. Wonwoo sulked before Mingyu began to poke his sides. "Why? Why are you so serious all the time." Mingyu said with a grin. "Come on Mr 'I'm So Fucking Emo' lighten up for once." He sat back in the seat and buckled his belt. Before he drove off again he turned to Wonwoo, his face now calm, the soothing tone returned to his voice.

"Seriously Wonwoo." Mingyu said as he pulled the car out of the service station carpark. "You worry me. You bottle up all your stress, you don't let people in to help you, you're so fucking miserable all the time." Wonwoo turned away and went back to staring out the window. Mingyu let it go until they got to the beach.

He parked the car again, this time at the top of a cliff, and they got out. "I'm not letting this go Wonwoo." He grabbed him by the arm and dragged him down a concrete staircase. They were at the beach. When they reached the bottom Mingyu began to take his shoes and socks off. Wonwoo followed his lead and turned his jeans up at the bottom. "Come on!" Mingyu dragged Wonwoo by the arm towards the water. "No. It's too cold." Wonwoo shied away but Mingyu wasn't having it.

_Time for your walls to come down._

"Come in or I will pick you up and carry you and don't think I won't." Mingyu grinned his trademark white smile at Wonwoo, his face alight with pure happiness, the cold wind putting a flush in his golden honey coloured cheeks. Wonwoo knew he would so he just followed him ankle deep into the water.

"What makes you happy?" Mingyu turned to Wonwoo who just stared at him blankly. Mingyu sighed. "I'm Mingyu and I love Hello Kitty!" He shouted into the waves. "Her cute little face makes me happy. Bubble tea makes me happy! Sleeping in on Sundays makes me happy. And this place makes me happy!" He yelled as loud as he could and turned to Wonwoo with a glowing smile. "You go! It's only me. You don't have to be embarrassed." Wonwoo stared out at the waves in silence for a long time. Finally he turned to Mingyu. "I said it in my head. What makes me happy." Mingyu grinned. This had gone better than he thought. Bringing him here was the plan. Yelling a ridiculous confession into the wind and waves wasn't. That was a spur of the moment idea of Mingyu's but it felt good and it had worked. Wonwoo smiled at Mingyu and the smile held such warmth and appreciation that Mingyu felt a shift in his universe. Everything he knew was turned upside down by the warmth and the sad longing in that one brief smile. Mingyu wondered what Wonwoo had confessed to the ocean. What makes him happy? Something or he would have just said nothing.

They walked back to the car and spent the return trip making quiet conversation. Something had definitely changed. "Do you think it helped?" Mingyu asked gently. "Yeah. Yeah I do." Wonwoo said. "I've got some ideas. It's more than I've had in weeks."

When they pulled up at the building Mingyu let Wonwoo out at the front. He had the appointment with they hair stylist for the much-dreaded idol makeover. "Be nice to her please." Mingyu said as Wonwoo jumped out. "And get some sleep tonight. I'll see you tomorrow." Wonwoo nodded as he walked into the building.

As he sat in the chair the stylist, clearly affected by his reputation, fussed carefully around him. She nervously showed him a colour chart with some pre-approved choices marked clearly. Wonwoo looked them over and smiled softly to himself. "I'll only say yes to this colour." He said as he pointed out one of the pre approved colours.

_Number 713. Rich honey._

 

 

Day twenty one As he strolled through the long bright corridor, coffees in hand, Mingyu didn't know what to expect. He left Wonwoo out the front of the company at exactly 3:50pm on Thursday afternoon, just in time for the dreaded salon appointment, and hadn't sighted him since. It hadn't bothered him, he was so busy Friday that the day had flown by, but now their regular Monday meeting was impending and once again Mingyu didn't know what to expect.

Something had changed. Out there in the cold crashing waves, the salt spray burning their skin, the watchful grey sky overhead, something shifted. At least for Mingyu. Wonwoo was so hard to read. But he had seemed calmer and he said it helped. As long as it helped.

He opened the office door to face the music. No Wonwoo. He set one coffee down on Wonwoo's desk and took his own over to his. He looked over his little collection of things that made him happy and let his mind wander.

Hello Kitty. Hello Kitty made him happy. Especially the one he knew Wonwoo had secretly gifted to him. He would never admit it but it had to be him.

Hello Kitty, sleeping in on Sundays, the sand and the waves and bubble tea. Sweet lattes made him happy, walking on the beach in the sun, icecream and puppies and Wonwoo's shy smile.

_Wait what?_

Mingyu's rational side rushed in to rescue his emotional side. Wonwoo's smile made him happy. Of course he wanted Wonwoo to be happy. He was his manager. Wonwoo's happiness should be important to him.

_I just want him to be happy. For his career and mine._

_I still hate him._

As confusion rolled through Mingyu he forced himself to remember how bad he felt when Wonwoo embarassed him in front of Hoshi. It was awful. But he had just done it out of his own insecurities, Mingyu knew that, and he had apologised.

But every time Wonwoo's elusive smile graced Mingyu with its shy presence he found it harder and harder to hate him. Wonwoo had opened the window to his soul and allowed Mingyu just a small peek but what he had seen inside was fragile and beautiful.

Mingyu shook his head to clear it and chugged his coffee. The coffee was cold and it was now 9:20am. How long had he been daydreaming? And Wonwoo was late for their meeting. Mingyu got up, about to panic, worry about where he was and what he was doing threatening his outwardly calm demeanour. Suddenly the door flew open and he walked in like a fresh breeze. His clothes were neat and his face was fresh. He looked like he had slept all night on a soft cloud. He looked better than he had in weeks. And his hair....

Mingyu sucked in a deep breath as he felt the room spin. He couldn't breathe. Wonwoo's hair was a dark and rich honey brown with highlights of pure gold. It heightened all his features, it made his jaw look sharper, his neck longer, his skin brighter. His chocolate eyes burned with a new intensity that took Mingyu's breath away.

The two men just stood in the middle of the room staring at each other for what felt like an eternity. It was Wonwoo who broke first. "You like it?" He ran his hand through it nervously. It was shorter as well and he was still getting used to it himself. Mingyu suddenly came back to life and as his consciousness was resuscitated by Wonwoo's words he took in the vision before him.

_He's beautiful._

Mingyu didn't know what to do? Tell him how beautiful he looks? Or act like nothings different? He went with the second in a fit of panic. "Looks cool." Mingyu said blandly. "You know you have to wear a beanie now whenever you go out until the debut." Wonwoo's face dropped from a shy smile to muted disappointment. Mingyu was crushed. He had made the wrong decision and he knew it instantly. Had he wanted to hear it? Was he hoping for Mingyu to tell him how beautiful he was?

Mingyu was so confused but Wonwoo seemed to have found a new light inside himself. "I finished all the songs except for one. I asked Jihoon to come in on the weekend. We recorded them all in one day." Mingyu was floored. "Really?" He couldn't hide his surprise. "Yeah." Wonwoo's gaze hit the floor. "Umm, thanks for taking me....." His newfound light suddenly dimmed in the shadow of his intention. "Well you know.... Thanks for last week. The beach." Wonwoo's awkwardness returned and he turned to walk out the door but Mingyu caught his arm. Something inside him drove him to halt Wonwoo's retreat. He had to stop him from running away.

"Let me hear them. Please?" Mingyu was suddenly desperate to hear the inside of Wonwoo's mind. The man who confused him so much, who seemed so tortured and so pained, but yet so insecure and fragile. His arrogance and abrasiveness were a front, a barrier between himself and his true feelings, a wall to hide behind. Mingyu was still trying to break in. His music was the gateway and Mingyu knew that.

He watched the wheels turn in Wonwoo's mind and finally he got what he wanted. "Ok." Was all he said as he turned abruptly on his heel and walked out of the office and across the hall to the studio. Mingyu followed him quickly. He wasn't going to be left behind.

Wonwoo seemed agitated as he fiddled with the equipment in the studio. Finally one rap after another pumped out through the system. They were all brilliant. The fact that he and Jihoon had laid down four new tracks in one day over the weekend was a testament to the talent that was held within both men. Any one of them could be a title track. Mingyu's hands shook as he listened to the words. Sad words, angry words, hurt words of hurt feelings. Of misunderstandings and misgiving. Of regret, fear and isolation. Angry words of abandonment and rejection. Of loneliness and heartbreaking sorrow. Wonwoo couldn't meet his eyes. Mingyu understood why. This felt so intimate. It was one thing to sell a CD and have a stranger listen to it. It was another thing completely to pour your feelings out to the closest person in your daily life while they sat in the same room. The last song faded out and their last remaining semblance of separation went with it. They had to become a team.

Finally Wonwoo spoke first. "I've got one more song to record. But I need you on my side. It's not a rap, I want to sing, and I want you to help me record it. Tomorrow after lunch?" As his dark lashes lifted to expose the warm chocolate depths underneath Mingyu felt suddenly uncomfortable. "Ok. I'll meet you here tomorrow." Was all he said as he hurried out the room. It was almost lunchtime. And it was Mingyu's turn to run away.

 

 

Day twenty two / am

So much had changed for Wonwoo. Mingyu was literally a fucking angel. He had blown through Wonwoo's life like a beautiful smiling tornado, he was like the thunderstorm that broke the heatwave, the flooding rains that brought a drought to its knees.

After what he now mentally referred to as 'The Hoshi Incident' he had to rethink a lot of things. For years he had been using his personality as a shield. It kept people at bay.   


_Better to shut them out than let them in. People only hurt you._  


But something deep inside told him that his was different. Mingyu would never hurt him. Would he? Could he?

Yes. He definitely could. Whether he would or not was up to the decisions made between himself and Wonwoo. Decisions that scared the shit out of Wonwoo. Decisions and choices that terrified him beyond belief. He had already made the decision to rescue Mingyu's favourite jacket. The poor kid must have been devastated when he stained it. But the fact that he just threw it away without a second thought scared the shit out of Wonwoo. Would his heart also be so disposable? Would Mingyu just walk away from him at the first sign of imperfection?

He had never felt less like himself than when he walked into that Sanrio shop and began browsing the shelves. Everything in there was like something out of a nightmare. Everything was pink and cute and fun. He wanted to close his eyes and run away from everything in there. But as he looked around at where he was and what he was doing a realisation swept through his body. He was whipped. He was willingly standing inside his own pink nightmare in the hopes of making Mingyu smile.

Finally he felt like he made the right choice. The figurine was small enough to be unobtrusive and cute enough to achieve its aim. It was precious enough to be meaningful without carrying the weighty connotations of a plushie. He took it to the counter and avoided the cashier's eye contact. As he handed over the money she finally caught his gaze. "Gift for your girlfriend?" She said brightly. "Yeah kinda." Wonwoo mumbled as he took his change. "It's cute. She's a lucky girl." The cashier smiled brightly at him as he walked out with his prize carted obviously in a little bright pink bag.

He went straight back to the company in the cover of darkness. He hurried through the empty corridors clutching tightly at his package. He almost made it. Just as he rounded the corner of the long corridor leading to his office he ran straight into Jihoon on his way home for the day. Jihoon's eyes went straight to the pink bag and a smirk formed on his face. "What are you? Santa Claus?" His smirk turned into a chuckle. "Shut up." Wonwoo frowned at Jihoon as he walked away from him. "He's a good guy Wonwoo." Jihoon called out to his retreating back. "Don't fuck it up!" Jihoon chuckled to himself again as he entered the elevator.

Wonwoo slipped into the office. The cover of darkness was soothing and comforting. He opened his bottom desk drawer and retrieved the rescued jacket and put it on Mingyu's seat. He put the new Hello Kitty onto Mingyu's desk and hoped it would make him smile. Anything for one of those rich honey smiles. He went through Mingyu's desk and rescued all the items hidden in the shameful oblivion of the desk drawer. Wonwoo found a sticky note and hastily scrawled on it before he left.

**_Tear the rules up._ **

He wanted them gone. Hello Kitty was a small price to pay for the possibility of sharing lunch at their desks. He would put up with all the Hello Kitty plushies in the world if it meant more of Mingyu's addictive smiles. Fuck, he would buy a Hello Kitty shirt and wear it every day, if it gave him even just a possibility of being drawn into Mingyu's strong arms.

He wandered back to his auditory prison across the hall. His writers block was starting to make him panic. He had to get the songs done. Another long night of little sleep was all he could be sure of.

The next day he fumbled his way though their morning meeting. He was bleary eyed and exhausted. He felt like he hadn't slept in a month. But somehow the humiliation of the Sanrio store became a distant memory when his phone buzzed. The photo of Mingyu kissing his little figurine made his heart sing even if his mind didn't know the words. His dark eyes closed, every lash defined on his soft golden cheeks, those deliciously kissable lips pouted in a way that made his knees weak. The photo became Wonwoo's new prized possession.

He sat and stared at the photo on his phone. How could he disappoint him? He didn't know how many hours or days or weeks he had been locked inside the studio. He needed no sustenance but the photo. His eyes grew heavy as the blank page stared at him, mocked him, laughed at him. Every time he felt like walking away from the Pledis building he looked at the photo. He could walk away from the building, the company, the idol life. But not from Mingyu.

He was shaken from his catatonic state by Mingyu's sudden stoic and genuine concern. He yelled, his frustration bubbled out of himself like an opened weir, and when Mingyu held him he finally felt like everything would be okay. He had finally broken and the sound of Mingyu's heart beating against his cheek was going to piece him back together. It was a revelation.

The second revelation came when he stood ankle deep in the cold sea and mental shouted at the waves.

_What makes me happy?_

_He makes me happy._

_He makes me so happy it's terrifying me._

_His smile makes me happy. The feeling of being held in his strong arms make me happy._

_The sound of his laugh makes me happy. The sound of his heart makes me happy._

_And music makes me happy._

He hoped his new hair, as honey soft as Mingyu's glowing skin, would be enough to steal another smile from him. And as he hid himself away in the studio the words began to flow at last. Tales of stress, of insecurity and rejection, of love and regret poured out through him and into his rap. Jihoon came when he called and recorded the songs. All but one. The last one was special. It was borne out of fear, of hope, of salt and sand and sea. It was the sound of his own heart and he needed Mingyu to hear it.

It was the last wall, his last shield, the last barrier protecting his soul. He had written it in an hour. It was raw and honest and he was ready to sing it.

 

 

Day twenty two / pm

"He gave you a Hello Kitty figurine?" Jun's disbelief was written all over his face. Vernon joined in. "That stroppy emo piece of shit went to the Sanrio store and picked you out a Hello Kitty?" Vernon's laughter exploded. People began to turn around and look at the table of four as they ate their lunch. "Ssshhhhhh." Mingyu hushed them. "Don't talk about him like that." He flashed a savage stare at Vernon. "That's not all. He wants me to help him record a song. He wants to fucking sing." Mingyu's voice was almost a whisper.

"Why?" Jun asked. "Why sing? Can he even sing?" Mingyu shrugged. "Don't know. He was in a real funk so we went to the beach for the day and now he wants to sing and he wants me to help him record it. I have no idea what the fuck is happening." Mingyu sighed and chewed his sandwich. He looked up at the silence and saw three faces staring intently at him. "What?" He said through a mouthful of bread. "You took him to the beach?" Vernon asked. "Yeah. So?" Mingyu swallowed and opened his chocolate milk.

"Since when do you guys hang out. I thought you hated each other." Jun's smile had become a smirk. "Well. I guess he's not that bad. I've gotten to know him a little better." Mingyu admitted. "Plus it's my job." Suddenly defensive, three smirking faces watching him in silent judgement, Mingyu got up and grabbed his stuff from the table. As he turned to walk away he heard Vernon yell out to his back. "Hey Mingyu. Who's that extra sandwich for?" And the three he left behind dissolved into laughter as Mingyu walked away.

_It's my job._

_It's my job._

_It's all for my career. And his._

Mingyu mental repeated the sentences over and over in his head.

_For the success of his career and mine which by some twist of fate became inextricably and irrevocably tied to his._

_Not because he's hot. Or sexy._

_Not because the thought of him in the Sanrio store melts my heart._

_Not because he's secretly soft and adorable._

_Not because he's fragile and insecure and needs a strong shoulder to lean on._

_Not because I like him. I don't._

_I hate that guy._

Mingyu carefully carried the lunch he had selected for Wonwoo. He knew he was fussy and hated any form of seafood so he generally stuck to the same old plain choices. Today he had chosen turkey, cream cheese and baby spinach. He hoped Wonwoo would like it. Mingyu hurried towards the elevator and almost missed it. He wanted to run and catch it but he didn't want to risk Wonwoo's lunch. He was such a clumsy goof and he knew one slip and the sandwich would be stuck to the floor. But the person inside saw him coming and held the elevator for him. It was Jihoon.

"Thanks Mr Lee." Mingyu gasped a little. His chest was a little tight from his rush. "No problems. Lunch?" Jihoon eyed Mingyu's clutched items. "Yeah but for Wonwoo." Mingyu felt a blush creep across his cheeks. He didn't know where it came from or why it was there but he was suddenly aware that Jihoon might read too much into it. He willed the heat away from his cheeks as Jihoon stared at him in amusement. "Did you like your gift?" Jihoon asked quietly and the heat was back. "How did you....?" Mingyu began to speak but he quickly changed his mind. They rode the rest of the way up to the fifth floor in silence. When the doors opened and Mingyu could escape he bowed goodbye to Jihoon and began to hurry out but Jihoon stopped him. "Wonwoo doesn't express himself well. He can only truly be himself through his music." Jihoon's eyes conveyed his conviction as Mingyu's own black depths just stared back. "He's really trying." Jihoon said and moved out of the way to let Mingyu leave. "I know." Mingyu said as the doors closed.

Mingyu found him in the studio. "You still want to do this song?" He said as he walked in without knocking. "Yes." Wonwoo said with an indecipherable glow behind his chocolate brown irises. They flicked from Mingyu's smile to the packages in his hands. "Oh. Hungry?" Mingyu blushed again and held the lunch out towards Wonwoo who took it and sat on the couch.

Suddenly awkward, Mingyu wandered around in the studio, looking over the things Wonwoo had brought in to make himself comfortable. His desk in the office was barren but the studio, while neat and tidy, was more personal.  There was a stack of thick novels next to the couch and a beautiful indoor plant on the sink of the little kitchenette. It was in much better condition than his poor plant on his desk. The pillow and blanket on the couch were grey, plain but excellent quality, Mingyu picked up the pillow and fingered the soft cotton with delicacy. He wondered what the pillow would smell like, if he picked it up and inhaled, would it smell fruity or musky or just clean?

_What the fuck?_

He threw the pillow down like it was on fire. He looked around to see Wonwoo eyeing him quizzically. "Sorry. I shouldn't have touched your stuff." Mingyu hung his head but Wonwoo just shrugged and got up from the table. He tossed his rubbish into the bin and wandered over to the recording equipment.

Mingyu followed him dutifully and sat at the control panel. "What do you want me to do?" He was inexperienced with the recording process, he had a basic understanding, but wasn't a producer by any means. "The track's done. Just press play when I'm ready. And make sure it's set to record." Mingyu checked all the switches and it all looked fine. He nodded at Wonwoo who nodded back and Mingyu hit play.

The track was slow but not a ballad. It was smooth R&B with a reserved sensuality that made heat creep up Mingyu's face again. As he sat behind the sound desk he could see Wonwoo swaying to the beat, headphones on, eyes closed as he lost himself in the music. When he began to sing Mingyu lost himself too.  


_Cold mornings break me_ _My hunger runs deep_ _The silence of solitude_ _Screams in my mind_

 _The warmth of soft honey_ _The heat of your body_ _The only piece of respite_ _my crying heart can find_

 _Wars of emotions_ _I'm breaking apart_ _Rolling thunderstorms of love_ _I run away I fight_

 _to the place inside_ _Where it feels like home_ _where I need to face the truth_ _to find my respite_   


_Where the sky met the sea_ _You brought my heart to its knees_

_Will you be there?_

_As waves crashed on the sand_ _I dreamed of taking your hand_

_Will you be there?_

_Will I be able to hold you when there's nothing else here_

_Will you love me when I'm broken from failure and fear_

_When I'm angry and scared_ _When I'm hollow and bare_

 _Will you be there?_ _Will you ever care?_  


As the music faded out Mingyu held Wonwoo's gaze. Locked in a stand off, their eyes tied in a battle of wills, neither looking away for what felt like forever. The haze of emotions between them hung in the air like smoke from a wildfire. It was oppressive, suffocating, painful but addictive. Finally Wonwoo spoke. "Do you like it?" His eyes dropped to the floor. "Yeah." Mingyu said. When Wonwoo looked up and met his eyes again something had changed between them.

Jihoon's words rang in Mingyu's ears.

_"Wonwoo doesn't express himself well. He can only truly be himself through his music."_

"Can I run it again?" Wonwoo asked. "I'd like that." Mingyu whispered.  



	2. part two

 

Day twenty three Mingyu carried his backpack full of spare clothes on his back and the coffees in his hands. He had promised Wonwoo they could use the next few spare days to run the choreography before they shot the videos next week. Wonwoo knew it, Mingyu knew he knew it, but he wanted him to be confident. After yesterday's recording session he didn't know how helpful he'd be. He had tossed and turned in bed until well after midnight.

The song haunted him. It filled his mind with confusion and unanswered questions. Wonwoo had sung it four times before saving the files and emailing them to Jihoon. He then walked out and left Mingyu in the studio without a conversation or explanation. For hours Mingyu laid awake staring at the roof in darkness.

_Where the sky met the sea_ _You brought my heart to its knees_

_Will you be there?_

_As waves crashed on the sand_ _I dreamed of taking your hand_

_Will you be there?_

No, it can't be true, Mingyu thought as he strode on long legs through the Pledis building.

Sure, they had been getting along better, finding some middle ground. They had developed a kind of understanding. Even a tentative and nervous friendship of some sorts. But if Mingyu took the song literally then it meant that Wonwoo, captivated by the spray of the sea and salt, had feelings for him. That Wonwoo wanted to hold his hand, to kiss him and touch him, to be with him.

_No. It's not true. It can't be true._

He had asked Wonwoo what made him happy. Clearly he had someone on his mind. That must have been why he was so stressed, so vacant, so troubled. Suddenly it all fell into place.

_It must be Jihoon_.

That's why he was having trouble with the songs. That's why he wanted Mingyu to help him record the song and not Jihoon.

_Of course._

And that's why Jihoon was so concerned about Wonwoo. Why there was so much warmth in his eyes when he said he was glad someone else was looking out for Wonwoo. And why he couldn't record the song in front of him. It made so much sense. Jihoon was the only other person Wonwoo was close to.

He wasn't surprised. Jihoon was a polarising figure. Short in stature but huge in persona. He was a musical genius, had an addictively charismatic personality, and was so attractive he was intimidating. He was dark and brooding, sable haired and milky skinned and hot. And while Mingyu wasn't surprised he felt a raft of other emotions. Disappointment settled in his stomach. It didn't feel good. It felt heavy and confusing. And then Mingyu came to a revelation.

He was jealous.

He was fucking jealous of Jihoon. He had allowed a part of him to think, just for a second, that he might have been the intended recipient of Wonwoo's beautiful heartfelt confession. He hadn't even realised he wanted it until it was snatched away from him right under his nose.

All this time he had been telling himself he hated him. That he hated every word that came out of Wonwoo's mouth, hated his sullen moods and his unpredictable anger, hated his stupid sexy face and his hot body and his wonderfully dreamy smile. He had just been distracting himself from the irrefutable fact that he had somehow, over the last few weeks, he had managed to develop a massive crush on Wonwoo.

The revelation hit him like a ton of bricks as he carried his backpack into the office. And there he was. Waiting expectantly, wearing a black tank and grey sweatpants, looking like a fucking God. The revelation in his mind had ruined any chance he had of pretending this was just a normal work day. Now he was so self aware it was almost painful.

"Hey." Wonwoo said with his usual blank expression. He took the coffee Mingyu held out as the Mingyu managed to mumble a returns greeting. Mingyu felt Wonwoo's eyes burn right through him as he looked him up and down. "We still practicing today?" He asked, clearly thrown by Mingyu's attire, but he just held up his backpack in answer. "Yeah. I didn't know when so I just have to go and get changed." Mingyu stammered out. "We're both guys. Just get changed here." Wonwoo looked at him curiously as Mingyu went red from the tips of his ears to the ends of his toes. "Ah.. that's okay, I'll just go across to the bathrooms, it'll only take five minutes." Mingyu grabbed his bag and took off for the fifth floor toilets.

He ran into the bathroom and locked himself in a cubicle. Heat and sweat dropped from every inch of his skin. The thought of Wonwoo looking at him, seeing his body, of exposing himself so shamelessly had him burning up with a heady combination of embarrassment and desire.

_It's going to be a long fucking day._

Mingyu stripped his shirt off and hung it on the back of the door. He leaned his bare back against the cooling ceramic of the tiled wall. He slowed his breathing and tried to get his shit together. He willed himself to summon every ounce of professional integrity he could muster. He shed his pants and shoes, changed into his workout gear and left the safety of the stall. As Mingyu splashed his face with cold water from the sink he stared at himself in the mirror.

_Get your shit together Mingyu._

He gathered his things and left the bathroom and headed back to the office. He walked in and tried to ignore Wonwoo's eyes on him as he crossed the room to grab a water bottle. He looked at Wonwoo who nodded and Mingyu grabbed an extra one out of the fridge and they headed out of the office for the dance practice room.

Th elevator ride was awkward in its silence. It was finally broken by Wonwoo. "Jihoon liked the song. He was very happy." Mingyu felt sick.

_I bet he fucking liked the song._

This new and uncharted territory of feelings, of jealousy and heated attraction, of inadequacy and uncertainty and fear, had Mingyu's head a mess. Instead he just smiled and said. "I'm glad." He really was. He wanted Wonwoo's debut to be successful. He wanted Wonwoo to be happy. Even if that happiness came in the form of a pint sized genius with sharp eyes and a deceptively cute smile.

Two hours later they lay side by side, flat on the floor, chests heaving from the dance. They had pushed their bodies to the limit. Mingyu's hands ran through his hair, damp and stuck to his head. He rolled onto his side and risked a covert glance at Wonwoo. He quickly looked away when he saw Wonwoo staring right back at him. "Want to go get some lunch?" Wonwoo asked and Mingyu got up. He held his hand out to pull Wonwoo to his feet and the buzz through his body at their connection was almost too much. He blushed again and hoped he could pass it off as a result of the two hours of physical exertion. "Come on. Let's go out and get some chicken." Mingyu grinned as they headed for the door.

 

  


Day twenty five / am He was late. For the first time in weeks he had overslept and was late. He dragged himself though the long corridors feeling like shit and heading towards a certain berating.

The day before he had curled into a ball in the warm comfort of his bed. He sent Wonwoo a text blaming a fever and hid himself away from the world. He couldn't do it. He couldn't face him. He got a blithe and disinterested reply from Wonwoo. It simply said 'ok'.

After they had exhausted themselves practicing two days ago in the practice room they had changed and headed out for lunch. Mingyu walked Wonwoo to the chicken place where he had brought lunch from before. Wonwoo wore a beanie and glasses. Mingyu was entranced. He couldn't take his eyes off him the whole time. Stolen glances were taken at every available opportunity. Mingyu could feel himself falling deep into a hole he couldn't hope to escape from.

_Why didn't I see it before._

Suddenly Wonwoo's cold stare turned from vacant to wistful. His sharply cutting eyes became intense not harsh. His furrowed brow was a mystery to be unravelled and a scar to be soothed. As he sat in silence and chewed his chicken Mingyu felt the sudden urge to protect him from anyone who would cause him harm. Mingyu wanted to find the cure for every ailment that hurt Wonwoo's soul. There was pain inside him. It radiated from him, it was seeping out through his pores, it emanated from his chocolate brown eyes that screamed for salvation every time they met Mingyu's.

But when their lunch was over Wonwoo had to meet Jihoon. "We need to go over the new song." A small smile was Mingyu's confirmation. Wonwoo couldn't wait to get to Jihoon and see what he thought.

Alone in the silent office Mingyu's mind wandered. He imagined Wonwoo's shy smile and Jihoons intense response. He could picture Wonwoo, cheeks rosy with anticipation, shyly explaining to Jihoon that the song was for him. The most precious of gifts. He imagined Jihoons passionate reaction, him taking Wonwoo by the hand, leading him in a slow dance to the beat of their own hearts. Jihoon leaning up on his tiptoes, Wonwoo bending down to reach him, their lips gently pressing together in the warmth of satisfaction.

As he released the breath he had been subconsciously holding he felt the sensation of cold heat on his cheeks. He didn't know how many tears had fallen but he knew it was too many. He picked up his little hello kitty figurine and put her into his pocket and walked out the door. With her stuffed into his jacket pocket he felt like a little piece of Wonwoo was with him as he walked home to his apartment, straight into his room, and straight into his bed. And that's where he stayed until 9am Friday morning.

This morning they were auditioning backup dancers for the music video and the live promotions. Mingyu couldn't avoid it. They were starting at 10 in the practice room and Mingyu couldn't miss it. They were auditioning boys before lunch and girls after. The panel was Mingyu, Wonwoo and the video producer. They needed two guys for the title track and one girl for the second track which would only performed live once.

Mingyu stumbled into the office. Wonwoo looked up from his desk, his usual stare present, any hopes for sympathy faded as quickly as Mingyu's energy. "You're late." Wonwoo said. "No coffee?" Mingyu just shook his head with glossy eyes and sank into his chair.

Silence.

The wall clock ticked. Mingyu checked his email. His desk clock ticked. Mingyu turned the pages of his diary. His watch ticked. Mingyu monitored the social media and gossip websites. Wonwoo had a fansite already, and a picture had been posted on the daily feed of the Star Dispatch, the country's biggest pop culture news website. The picture was taken through the window of the chicken restaurant and was a perfect shot of a perfect man, glowing and happy, his shining eyes smiling behind his round glasses. A black beanie was pulled down low over his newly coloured honey gold hair. The caption described them as 'anticipated rookie idol and unknown male.'

Nothing felt more honest or real in that moment. The shooting star and the unknown shadow. One burning bright the other lost in the twilight. If it was Jihoon with Wonwoo the caption would be 'anticipated rookie idol and star producer.' And it would probably be a headline.

He looked up to see Wonwoo's intense state fixed on him. "You ok?" Wonwoo asked. "Yeah. I've just got a lot on my mind." Mingyu replied before they headed in silence to the dance studio.

As they lined up, the three of them united in solidarity, they came in one by one. Some were tall and some were short. Some were dark and some sported brightly coloured idol hair. All were talented. All were beautiful. They blended into each other, one after the other, until Mingyu's mind began to wander. He looked over at Wonwoo, equally bored, vacant eyes fixed on the endless parade of dancers. As Wonwoo watched the dancers Mingyu watched him. He wondered if any caught his eye. None of them seemed like his type.

He wished he was Wonwoo's type.

If Wonwoo's type was Jihoon then Mingyu was the opposite. Where Jihoon's skin was as smooth and pale as milkglass Mingyu's was dark. Jihoon's silky hair always sat neatly styled while Mingyu's was constantly out of control. And while Jihoon was neat and small, delicate even, Mingyu always felt like a huge lumbering uncoordinated idiot. Jihoon was competent and talented and Mingyu was a clumsy walking disaster.

They called back the five best dancers, even though Wonwoo complained that they all looked the same, and Mingyu had zoned out hours ago. Wonwoo got up from the desk to run the choreo with them. "You need to run it with me." He said as he stared at Mingyu. "I'm not doing this on my own." Mingyu swallowed his nerves and ran it with Wonwoo and each one of the dancers in turn. The director chose two. Mingyu ordered their lunch and they ate in silence.

Mingyu's gaze couldn't shift from Wonwoo's face. He seemed a million miles away. He chewed a slice of pizza and frowned and his dark brows furrowed. He looked up and caught Mingyu watching him and his frown turned into the shyest of smiles, his lips turning up at the corners, his nose wrinkling ever so slightly.

_Cute_.

Mingyu's thoughts fixated on Wonwoo as he hurriedly turned away.

_I wonder what's he's thinking about._

 

  


Day twenty five / pm _I've fucked it up and I don't know how to fix it._

Wonwoo was running out of ideas. He sat at the table and stared at the endless parade of uninteresting girls as they came in one by one and danced. None looked right. Some wore short skirts, some wore baggy track pants, some were pretty, some wore too much makeup. They all wanted more from him than he was prepared to give. Even a smile was too much. He was saving them all for Mingyu.

But Mingyu couldn't even look at him.

It had been going so well. When Wonwoo finally got the courage to share his song he really thought his intentions were clear. The song was a gift, it was a private moment on display, it was a window into his heart. And when he sang with Mingyu in the room he poured all of himself into his vocals. Mingyu had blushed and returned the gift with the blessing of his wide smile and Wonwoo had never felt happier.

The next day he had gone too far. He really thought the innocence in his suggestion would seem sincere. But he had scared him off. He knew suggesting Mingyu get changed in front of him was a bad move but the words had just tumbled out of his mouth and now it was too late to take them back. But he craved him, his honey gold skin was like a blazing flame, and Wonwoo was the moth caught in its glow. The thought of just another glimpse, another stolen view, the lure of Mingyu's body was making Wonwoo out of his mind. But he fucked up and acted like a creep and he didn't know how to redeem himself.

When he tried to break the ice in the awkward elevator ride he had dug himself even deeper. He really thought Mingyu would want to hear how pleased Jihoon was with their project. Recording it with Mingyu's help made it special. It wasn't his song, it was their song, but Mingyu just disregarded his words. He had never felt more dismissed.

_I fucking knew it all along._

_He hates me._

Wonwoo knew he was in too deep. It was already hurting. Whatever relationship he had developed with Mingyu was already scaring him. It was confusing and painful, he was struggling to navigate the miasma of turbulent feelings, it was exhausting him beyond belief. But when he stood in the dance studio and pushed his body to the limit with Mingyu beside him, their bodies locked in a symbiotic rhythm, he felt like he was flying. Like it was all worth it just to be in his presence.

"Any progress?" Jihoon asked him when he went up to his office. "Nah." Wonwoo stared out the window. "I really thought he would like the song. I thought we might be able to go back there." Wonwoo's voice trailed off as his mind wandered back to sand stuck between his toes and the smell of salt in the cold air. "I don't know how smart he is Wonwoo. You might have to be more direct." Jihoon chuckled to himself as he spoke but Wonwoo just leaned his head against the icy cold glass and stared down at the street below. People rushing along the footpath, mostly alone, some together in pairs or groups. Why was it so easy for them but so hard for him?

_I hate them all._

_Except for Mingyu._

_I could never hate him._  


When Mingyu called in sick the next day Wonwoo had paced the office all morning. He didn't know what he should do. The thought of Mingyu sick made his chest hurt. It was a strange feeling that sat heavy around his heart. Would he want soup? Would he need medicine? Was anyone looking after him?

If he was someone else he could buy chicken and corn and celery and onions and go to Mingyu's apartment. He could tuck Mingyu into bed and make soup and feed it to him and wipe his chin when it dribbled down. He could laugh and joke about him being such a messy eater and bathe his forehead with cool cloths and stroke his hair and make him smile. Make him feel better. Make him happy.

But he wasn't someone else. He was awkward Jeon Wonwoo and all he could do was reply to the text with 'ok'.

He didn't even know where Mingyu lived. Or if he even lived alone. He probably lived with the handsome boy he always ate lunch with. The American boy, the one with the easy smiles and the laughing eyes, the friendly boy everyone adored. He was an assistant too, Wonwoo had learned from Jihoon that his name was Vernon and he worked for the notorious diva Boo Seungkwan. Wonwoo's imagination ran wild with images of Mingyu living with the laughing boy, of them watching movies on the couch, cooking dinner together in their kitchen. Was he looking after Mingyu?

Wonwoo sighed as he thought of all the things he couldn't give to Mingyu. Smiles and laughter, easy conversation, warmth and excitement. All he had to offer was depth and sincerity and that wasn't very exciting or romantic.

Somehow the songs and sickness, the smiles and sincerity, all led to them sitting in the dance studio watching girl after girl come in. The director chose the shortlist of three and the first one came in. She was pretty in a nondescript way, all dark lashes and dark hair and dark makeup. "Wonwoo will run the choreo with you and we will make a decision at the end of the day and let you know." The director was the only one invested in this process. Wonwoo hated the thought of rapping while this girl danced with him. He closed his eyes and pictured Mingyu riding the beat beside him instead and it got him through. Imagining the tall and gorgeous man's body rolling in time with the melody took Wonwoo away to a place only real in his imagination. But when he opened his eyes and saw the flush on her cheeks and the sadness in Mingyu's eyes he knew he had fucked it up again.

He began to hyperventilate, anxiety overwhelming him, his breaths coming in short and fast. He looked over to Mingyu with panic in his eyes and somehow the other man knew exactly what to do. He ignored the dancer, ignored the director, pushing everything aside for Wonwoo. As Wonwoo felt his body overwhelmed by an excess of oxygen he was rescued by the pull of strong arms. And as he buried his face in Mingyu's chest he hated himself for being so selfish. When Mingyu was sick he couldn't even help him and yet every time Wonwoo fell Mingyu was there to catch him.

Things needed to change. He needed to change.

He just wished he knew where to start.

 

 

Day twenty six Mingyu had never been more grateful for Saturday.

He was exhausted.

Wonwoo was killing him softly, with every meeting of dark eyes, with every touch of bare skin. It was overwhelming, exciting and frightening, addictive and terrifying.

When he checked his phone and saw it was 10:30am he couldn't believe he had slept for 12 hours and he was still tired. Yesterday had been so stressful. He wished he could just go back to the time before he felt this way. The days when he would walk the halls with coffee in his hands and disdain in his heart.

_Was it less painful to hate him?_

_Why can't I forget?_

_Why Jihoon and not me?_

He rolled over and buried his face in his pillow. He wasn't going to cry. Honestly, he just didn't have the energy, and instead he just tried to go back to sleep. But sleep was even more elusive than happiness and eventually Mingyu just got out of bed, showered, and prepared to face the day.

The thick carpet melted underneath his toes as Mingyu padded out into his living area. His apartment was small but nice and it was all his. He liked nice things and when he got the job working for Pledis the first thing he did was sign the lease and put down new carpet in this one bedroom apartment within walking distance. The living areas were representative of a young working professional, tastefully decorated in shades of white and grey and green.

Mingyu's bedroom, however, was a joyful explosion of pink and purple and teal. A Hello Kitty cover was sprawled across the huge king sized bed. A purple shag rug covered the wooden floorboards and fairy lights covered the roof. It was Mingyu's one private escape from his boring adult life. He never let anyone see it but his mind wandered to thoughts of waking up with Wonwoo next to him. He pictured rolling over and reaching out and finding golden honey coloured hair spilling across his pillows in soft dawn light. Mingyu couldn't help but chuckle as he wondered how grumpy Wonwoo was when he first woke up. Especially if he woke up in this room that was an explosion of everything Wonwoo hated.

_Colour. Hello Kitty. Me._

_Wonwoo would hate it in here._

_I bet he's not a morning person at all._

He rummaged through the overflowing cupboards in his kitchen looking for his favourite electric frying pan. He plugged it in at the wall and searched his fridge and cupboards while it heated up. In the end he couldn't decide between pancakes and French toast so he made both. Cooking was the only thing Mingyu was confident with and as he buzzed around his kitchen chopping and mixing and frying he imagined Wonwoo, grumpy and bedhaired, sprawled on his couch with coffee while he waited for his breakfast. He pictured Wonwoo's sulky frown turn into the slightest smile at the sight of a huge plate of freshly cooked sweet treats and the idea of this happy domestic scene made his heart almost burst.

Mingyu hummed to himself as he cooked and it didn't take long to finish. The food was more than enough for two people and without even realising it he plated up two serves. Two matching plates of sweet breakfast goodies. Two piles of pancakes drizzled with maple and two stacks of French toast dusted with powdered sugar. Two bowls of fresh berries on the side. Mingyu poured two cups of coffee, one milky and sweet and one bitter long black, and set them down on the table.

Then he realised what he had done and he began to cry. So much for not crying.

He sat at his table alone with tears rolling down his honey coloured cheeks and ate his sad breakfast for two by himself. He couldn't even call him, even just as a friend, and invite him over for a casual breakfast. They weren't in that sort of relationship yet.

_Be brave Mingyu._

_Just message him and ask._

_Just ask him what he's doing today._

He didn't want to know the answer. Instead he picked up his phone and sent a message to Vernon asking what he was doing. When the reply said he was working Mingyu packed the extra breakfast into a container and headed out the door.

He walked the short distance to the Pledis building and headed for the 17th floor. He rode the elevator up and as the doors opened his breath hitched in his chest. He could see them down the end of the corridor outside Jihoon's offices. Their heads close in an obvious conversation, the intimacy between them on full display, their topic clearly a secret. Mingyu watched Wonwoo lean down and say something to Jihoon which made him smile. Jihoon looked up at Wonwoo with appreciation and gratitude for whatever he said. And Mingyu suddenly realised he had to step out before the doors closed and took him back to the lobby.

As he walked out they turned and saw him. And then there was no escape. Jihoon smirked broadly, the sight disconcerting and rare, and the two walked towards Mingyu. He began to panic but he couldn't move. He was fixated to the spot with the container of breakfast glued to his hands. Wonwoo's gaze was cold as he approached Mingyu and stared at the food in his hands. "Who's that for?" He asked with barely contained disdain.

_You._

_I made it for you._

_It's yours._

Mingyu's eyes screamed the truth while his mouth spoke the lie. "It's for Vernon. He's working and I thought he might be hungry." As Mingyu half heartedly mumbled out the lie he saw Wonwoo's expression wrinkle and then darken. His gaze left Mingyu and fixated on the floor. Jihoon watched on with an indecipherable expression. Finally he grabbed Wonwoo's arm and pulled him away from their awkward stalemate. "Let's go." He said as he dragged Wonwoo into the elevator.

Mingyu sighed.

Sighing. Crying. Dying.

That's all he had done since he realised he had a massive crush on his boss. His moody, unpredictable, sexy and very obviously taken boss. He fucking hated it.

He, once agin, got his shit together and headed towards Vernon's office.

He knocked on the door and opened it to find Vernon leaning over a table covered with photos. "Hey. Boo here or is it just you?" Mingyu asked as he walked in. "Just me. Oh FOOD!" Vernon almost leaped over the table when he saw the container in Mingyu's hands. He grabbed it and went straight over to the coffee area and found a fork. "Aren't you at least going to heat it up?" Mingyu laughed. "No way." Vernon shoved a whole pancake in his mouth. "Your food is the best." He mumbled around the enormous mouthful of food. "Thanks man." Mingyu looked at the photos on the desk. "Trying to pick a cover?" Vernon nodded. "He looks so good in all of them. I can't choose!"

Mingyu shuffled the photos while Vernon ate. He picked up one of Boo in a soft sweater showing a soft expression. It was right on the fine line between cute and sexy. "This one." Mingyu said definitely and held it up. Vernon nodded in agreement. "Yeah. I thought that one too. A second opinion is always valuable." The two friends smiled at each other as Vernon finished off the food.

"As much as I like you bringing me breakfast at work tell me why you're really here." Vernon walked over to the coffee area and began to pour two. Mingyu took a deep breath. "I've got a crush. On Wonwoo. A huge crush and I don't know what to do."

The only sound in reply was the shattering of the coffee cup that slipped from Vernon's hand and hit the floor.

 

Day twenty eight

 

Panic was building as Mingyu paced the coffee shop. He almost didn't call in but he knew whatever he had to deal with was going to require caffeine. And lots of it.

The email had gone out to all staff early that morning directly from the CEO and the instructions were clear.

**_"Under no circumstances are any Pledis employees to make public comment, or provide any information to the media, or any persons outside the company, on the pictures about to be published on the Star Dispatch website this morning at 9am."_ **

The text messages were flying thick and fast as speculation built around what was going to be revealed. A dating scandal was what everyone expected and Mingyu knew exactly who it was. He had seen them on Saturday heading out for a lunch date. Mingyu silently cursed Wonwoo and Jihoon for being so stupid. How dumb could they be, to get caught, and by a gossip site as well.

He shifted from one foot to the other in agitation as he waited for the coffees. He finally took them in his shaking hands and walked quickly to the Pledis building.

People were whispering in every corridor. Mingyu expected them all to stare at him with pity, the poor Manager assigned to the most difficult idol in the company, now dealing with a dating scandal and a gay dating scandal on top of it all. But no one seemed to take any notice of him and he concluded that they didn't know yet. He looked at his watch. 8:35am. Twenty five minutes until his career fell apart.

He tapped his pen on the desk as he watched the clock tick down. Wonwoo hadn't been sighted and Mingyu pulled his little Hello Kitty figurine out of his pocket and put her on his desk. She gave him comfort when he found none elsewhere. It was a reminder that, if just for one moment, he had been important to Wonwoo.

Mingyu folded his arms on the desk and used them as a pillow. He was so over this exhausted melancholy he was caught in. He felt like he hadn't slept in weeks. He wasn't sure what was going to happen today. Would Wonwoo's debut be cancelled? It would at least have to be postponed. Surely Mingyu would be fired or at least reassigned.

He resigned himself quickly to the loss of Wonwoo from his life. If he was fired or even reassigned their relationship, whatever it was, was over. They weren't friends. They wouldn't stay in contact. Mingyu couldn't even call him to offer breakfast on a Saturday morning.

_I'm not going to cry._

_Not anymore._

He sniffed into his jumper and jumped a mile when he heard the deepest voice shake him from his daydream. "Hey!" He lifted his head to see Wonwoo leaning over his desk. He reached for the coffee and sat behind his own desk. Mingyu could feel Wonwoo's eyes on him and he was withering under his gaze. Finally his eyes met Wonwoo's and he was lost in the raging storm of confusion bottled within. "You're taking this harder than I expected." Wonwoo said. His expression was even but his voice was cold and Mingyu could tell he was pissed.

"Shouldn't I be?" Mingyu said angrily. He was probably going to lose his job and Wonwoo was throwing away his career and here he was, all nonchalant swagger, casually sipping his long black. "Come on. It's just a crush. You're taking it way too seriously." Wonwoo's expression changed and Mingyu couldn't believe what he was seeing and hearing.

_How does he know about my crush?_

_How can he act so cold?_

_Is he fucking smirking at me?_

The look on Wonwoo's face was a mixture of annoyance and triumph. Crushed, Mingyu began to shake, his breath coming in short and sharp. How long had Wonwoo known about his crush, and how pathological was he to be so cold about it, and did he not care about his career at all. He rubbed his eyes and willed the tears back down. Wonwoo just sat and stared at him silently.

As the clock ticked over to 9am Mingyu's phone lit up. He didn't want to know and pushed it aside. Wonwoo clicked on his mouse and began to chuckle. "It's a good picture." He called out to Mingyu. "Jihoon looks so cute. He's going to hate it so much!" He began to laugh. It got the better of Mingyu who got up. He would see it eventually so he figured he might as well put himself out of his misery before he was called before the CEO. As he looked over Wonwoo's shoulder at the HD photo on the Star Dispatch website he stared in shock.

Jihoon did look cute. Even though he was wearing a baseball cap you could see the sweet expression on his face. He was on his tiptoes as he leaned up towards the other man with his arms stretched out around his neck and a loving gaze in his eyes. But something was wrong. The other man, also wearing a cap, wasn't tall enough or thin enough. His face wasn't sharp or angular. It was cute and chubby. Mingyu's eyes shot wide open as he realised it wasn't Wonwoo.

It was Hoshi!

Wonwoo laughed as he scrolled down to the next picture which was the same two men now locked in a deep kiss. "Sorry." Wonwoo said as he looked up at Mingyu. "I know you liked him. You must be crushed." His words were sympathetic but his eyes were triumphant.

"I thought it was you." Mingyu blurted out before he could control his mouth. He flushed pink from the tips of his ears all the way down. He stared at his feet as he wandered over to the couch and sank into it.

He only looked up when Wonwoo began to laugh. It started as a chuckle that soon built into howls of laughter. Finally he slowed enough to catch his breath. "You thought it was me? With Jihoon? What the fuck!" He started laughing again. "Seriously. That's the weirdest thing I've ever heard. Me and Jihoon! Ew!"

Mingyu just stared on in confusion. "But I saw you guys. On Saturday morning." He said quietly. "You saw us talking. About Soonyoung. They've been seeing each other for months. I didn't know until Saturday." Wonwoo replied. He looked down at his desk and began to fidget with a paperclip. "I came in to work on some stuff. I don't have anything better to do on the weekends. I just ran into him and he told me."

"But....." Mingyu started and then stopped. Then he gathered all his courage and continued. "But the song. I thought it was for Jihoon." Expectation and hope filled Mingyu's heart again and he looked up at Wonwoo But Wonwoo's face just clouded over. His expression returned to stony and cold. "It wasn't for Jihoon." And with that Wonwoo turned and left the room.

 

Day twenty nine

 

And they were back to square one.

But this was a whole different board game.

The music videos were being filmed this week. The title track, entitled "My Delusion" was being filmed tomorrow, the the choreography version was the day after. Mingyu wasn't worried about them. The one he was worried about was the third video. The song was titled "Beautiful Day." It was the compromise between Wonwoo and Pledis to allow him to do the dark and bold rap as his title track.

He hated the second song, he hated the music video concept, and most of all he hated having to dance with some vapid and vacant girl who he didn't even know. Mingyu had already learned how difficult real intimacy was for Wonwoo. Faking it was near impossible. The next few days were going to be a nightmare.

Wonwoo had kind of blown up at Mingyu again yesterday over the song. The beautiful song that Wonwoo had penned after they stood in the salt spray of the ocean. Mingyu hadn't seen him since. They were back to their cold stalemate of weeks ago. Mingyu was more miserable than ever. He left the Red Bull at 12:15 and headed out to see if he could find someone to complain to.

He was in luck. Or was he?

"Hey Mingyu!" Vernon called across the crowded cafeteria. "Saved you a seat!" Mingyu grabbed his food and wandered almost reluctantly over to the table. Jun and Minghao were laughing over something on Jun's phone. As soon as he sat Vernon grilled him.

"You gonna tell them?" Vernon nodded towards the two laughing over a video of a cat with its head in a paper bag. Mingyu shrugged. "I got nothing to hide." He didn't. He was exhausted enough as it was. He didn't need to be trying to keep secrets as well. "What?" Jun, suddenly interested, looked up from his phone. "Mingyu has a crush!" Vernon laughed. "Yeah on his idol Hoshi. We all knew that right?" Jun turned back to the video. "No." Vernon continued. "On someone else." He teased. Jun and Minghao stopped and stared. Minghao clicked the phone locked and put it on the table.

Mingyu cleared his throat as the three all stared at him. "I've got a crush on Wonwoo." Jun and Minghao howled with laughter. Minghao wiped fake tears while Jun slapped his leg and laughed loudly. After a few minutes they stopped. "Oh." Jun looked confused. "You're serious? Why on earth? How?" Mingyu looked down at his plate. "I don't know how. Ok?" Mingyu felt suddenly sad. Sad for Wonwoo. It was hard enough to just explain him to other people. It must be so hard to be Wonwoo, trying to live your life under the hard gaze of disapproving states, constantly ignored and misunderstood.

"He's not what you think ok? He's..... He's different. He's fragile and sensitive. He's also secretly adorable. He did buy me the Hello Kitty." "Yeah and he tears strips off you every chance he gets. Did you forget that part?" Jun said. "He doesn't mean it." Mingyu's defence was vehement. "He has trouble expressing himself. You don't know him. You don't understand." Mingyu stared at his food as he pushed his salad around with a fork.

"Ah.. Poor Mingyu." Vernon laughed. "Trapped in a Shoujo Manga!" The other boys began to laugh. "My Tsundere Boyfriend!" Vernon went on. They all laughed but quickly stopped when two big tears dropped from Mingyu's eyes and onto the table. "Shit. Sorry man. Don't get so worked up." Vernon put his arm around Mingyu and rubbed his back. He really loved his tall and clumsy friend and had never seen him this worked up over anyone.

Mingyu sniffed and wiped his eyes and looked up at three concerned faces. "Sorry." Jun said. "We just thought we were teasing, you know, just another stupid crush." He was genuinely sorry. Mingyu was such a sweet kid. Jun would never hurt his feelings on purpose.

"It's not a stupid crush. I can't stop thinking about him." Mingyu leaned across the table and grabbed Jun by the shirt. "You've got to help me. What can I do?"

Jun smirked and looked around before he leaned in. "There's only one thing you can do. Fuck him." Mingyu recoiled back. "What?" Jun was laughing and so was Minghao. "Rude!" Mingyu flushed beet red from his ears down to the ground. "Well what else are you going to do? Mope around like this forever?" Jun laughed again and Mingyu sighed heavily. "Doesn't matter anyway. He hates me. I've got no chance." Jun covered Minghao's ears with his hands and leaned forward. "Some of the best sex I've ever had was with people I fucking hated!"

Vernon was wide eyed and blushing. Minghao was laughing and so was Jun. Mingyu had enough. "You guys are no help. Mingyu pushed his plate aside, picked up Wonwoo's salad, and walked out. He was halfway down the corridor towards the elevator when he heard footsteps behind him. "Sorry!" Jun grabbed his arm and slowed him down. "I'll try to give you better advice. Ok?" Mingyu nodded. This was all he had.

"Slow down. Stop being so miserable. If he's really as fragile as you say he is then have patience with him. Ok?" Jun patted his shoulder apologetically and Mingyu smiled.

Patience.

Mingyu wasn't known for his patience.

Jun continued. "Be more obvious. It can't hurt right? You think he already hates you. What's the worst thing that can happen if you show him that you care?" Jun hugged his tall friend and went back to the cafeteria as Mingyu headed for the elevator.

Be more obvious.

He had been trying too hard to hide how he felt. Especially when he thought Wonwoo's heart belonged to Jihoon. But now he knew it didn't and he found relief and freedom in Jun's words.

He walked into their office and Wonwoo wasn't there. He must still be in the studio. If he was in the dance room he would have taken Mingyu with him for sure. Mingyu took out his sticky notes and a pink pen.

**_"Enjoy your lunch. I hope you're looking forward to tomorrow! Let's have fun!"_ **

He signed it off with a X and a big heart and stuck it to the salad. He walked across the hall and knocked on the studio door. When there was no response he left the salad and went back to work.

When he left the office at 6pm the salad was still there. Disheartened, Mingyu went to pick it up, he'd had second thoughts about the note all afternoon and here was his chance to throw the whole thing away. He could hide the evidence and Wonwoo would never even know.

But Jun's words rang in his ear and he was tired of hiding his feelings. Even if they weren't reciprocated at least being honest was much less tiring.

He left the salad and the note and went home.

Later that night Wonwoo returned to the Pledis building. He had gone to the dentist for a clean and whitening and then he just walked around the city in the cold with his hands stuffed inside his pockets. He ate a quiet dinner alone and walked back to the warm building. When he found the salad and the note he picked it up and took it inside the studio.

The salad went in the trash and he hated himself for wasting Mingyu's money.

The note went in his pocket and he hated himself for not being able to show Mingyu what was inside his heart.

 

Day thirty one

 

The days before had gone better than expected. Shooting a music video was difficult work and Mingyu had been so busy that he was able to forget the cold stalemate he was trapped in with Wonwoo. Wonwoo's sour attitude had been beneficial to the shoot with the director praising his intensity and his focus. Mingyu had lingered around, attending to Wonwoo's needs, trying to anticipate them before he had to ask, showing the true side of how he felt towards him.

Jun had been right. He felt so free in his new plan to show, rather than hide, his feelings. It was so much less tiring. He was almost joyous, bounding around the set full of life, fetching water and food, holding sweat towels and face powder, taking behind the scenes photos and video. And every time he met Wonwoo's needs with a smile he got confusion in return. But he didn't care. He felt free.

With the official video and the choreography version done the day Mingyu had been dreading was finally here. The shoot for 'Beautiful Day'. Wonwoo was going to be difficult and Mingyu was well prepared to sooth any bumps in the road. He would help Wonwoo all he could, he would protect him from embarrassment, he would calm any frayed nerves. He watched as Wonwoo was made up and dressed, his hair styled and accessories added. He watched him shoot a few mild story scenes, walking, thinking, looking at the girl from afar.

_So far so good._

A quiet lunch was eaten with the others shooting the video until the girl decided to push it. The girl who was cast to dance had tried to sit next to Wonwoo but, sensing his discomfort, Mingyu called him aside with some 'important business.' Wonwoos eyes were dark with grateful emotion as they took their lunch to a quiet spot away from the crew.

"Thanks." He said softly as he ate his chicken. "Youre welcome." Mingyu smiled his bright and broad smile at him. Wonwoo looked down at his plate and Mingyu could have sworn he blushed. But it must have just been his imagination.

Soon enough it was time for the inevitable. They tried to make the scene work. Every time the girl moved in to dance the choreography with Wonwoo he stiffened up and couldn't dance. His face darkened, he forgot the steps, he grew more and more frustrated. Mingyu watched him build into a gentle simmering rage. He pulled the director aside and begged him for a break. "We're almost out of time Mingyu. We only have today." Mingyu knew how expensive it was to shoot music videos. He had to think of something.

Finally Wonwoo exploded.

"I'm not fucking doing it." He stared the director down. "I'm done with this shit. I'm not dancing with any fucking girls in my video. Change the concept." He spat the words angrily and turned and walked out without looking back to see the stunned expression on the dancers face. He didn't give a fuck. She could go and tell her friends about how she had an experience with the infamous Jeon Wonwoo and he was even worse than the rumours. Fuck them all.

Minguy let him walk away. He let him blow off some steam and calm down before he went after him. When he found him Wonwoo was sitting on the edge of a garden bed. He wasn't crying. He was vacant. "Go away." He snapped when he saw Mingyu in front of him. He turned his face down but Mingyu turned it back up towards him. "No." He narrowed his eyes as he stared at Wonwoo. "Yell at me, run away from me me, hate me all you want. I'm not going anywhere. I don't care how much you hate me. I'm not going to abandon you. I'll keep working hard to help you. I wont give in."

Mingyu waited with baited breath for his response. When it came it wasn't what he expected. "I don't hate you." Two tears rolled slowly down Wonwoos pale vanilla cheeks and Mingyu felt his heart break. He was so fragile. He held his arms out and Wonwoo fell into them and they just stood there holding each other for a long time. No one wanted to break it.

With the cold winter sun beating down on them, the two stood locked in each others arms, and with the breeze blowing up and leaves swirling around their feet something changed. They both felt it. It was physical, tangible, like a shift in space and time. A new understanding. A silent agreement written in words unsaid.

Mingyu led Wonwoo by the hand back to the set. "Wonwoo wants to change the concept. And it's his music video. So we either change it or we all go home." Mingyu stared the director down. The crew stood in shock, waiting to see the outcome, the girl still shaken from Wonwoos explosive rage.

"Fine." The director said. "But you better have a plan." "I do." Mingyu said. "You can use whatever you've already filmed and Wonwoo is going to do the choreography part alone." He hoped it would work. The choreography was for two people and he wasn't sure what it would look like with only one. Wonwoo ran it a few times but it didn't have the right feel. The director was almost at his wits end with frustration and time was running out. Wonwoo was losing it and missing steps. Mingyu had to save it from disaster. He stepped in and grabbed Wonwoo's hands and held his attention. "I'll run it a few times with you. Ok?" Wonwoo just nodded.

Mingyu stepped into the set and stood next to Wonwoo. He knew the other part like the back of his hand. He had helped Wonwoo with the choreography so many times he probably knew it better than he did. And as they danced together the whole set stopped. They danced, they moved around each other, their bodies flowed through the movements. It was like they were made for each other. Everyone watching stood in stunned silence.

As he danced Mingyu forgot about all the people watching them. He forgot the rest of the world even existed. There was nothing and no one but him and Wonwoo, their bodies moving against each other, their eyes locked in a burning chemistry. When the dance was done they stood, locked in eye contact, neither wanting to be the one to look away. Until their mood was broken by a few slow claps from one of the crew watching. They had bore witness to something special and they knew it.

"Solution!" The director yelled. "You're going to dance it together in the video. But if you could try to be less 'sexy' and more 'friendly' that would be great." Mingyu looked around in panic, panting for breath, his eyes searching for a way out of this new and scary situation. He didn't want to be in a music video. He wasn't a dancer, or a singer, or even a model.

But Wonwoo's eyes pleaded with him to help him make it work and before he knew it Mingyu was in a makeup chair. The stylist found something that would fit him and as the sun began to dip behind the horizon, spilling the set in pinks and golds and purples, Mingyu found himself dancing in a music video.

 

Day thirty three / am

 

As Wonwoo lay on the couch, staring at the roof of the recording studio, he went over the last few days in his head. He couldn't sleep but that was nothing new. He had barely slept in the three months he had been sleeping at the company. No one knew. Not even Mingyu had realised that he was always there. He hadn't told anyone, not even Jihoon, with whom he had sprung up an unlikely friendship. He never went home because there was no home to go to.

When he came out to his family he left. They didn't make him. He just did. He saw the disappointment in their eyes, his mother facing the loss of her grandchildren she would never have, his father considering having to explain to his friends why his son never got married. He had always been a disappointment. His love of music, his idol career, now this. Sometimes he wished he had the kind of family where everyone shouted at each other when they got angry, cried when they were sad, laughed with joy when everything was okay. But concealment and suppression was his family's coping mechanism and Wonwoo could read everything he needed to know in their eyes.

When Jihoon had confessed to Wonwoo about his relationship with Soonyoung he had given Wonwoo the most unexpected gift. With Soonyoung off the table surely Mingyu would be able to turn his attention towards someone else. Wonwoo didn't know how he would ever live up to Soonyoung but he was determined to try. He didn't know who tipped off the media but the day the photos of Soonyoung and Jihoon were published a weight lifted from his shoulders. Idealised images of him comforting a crestfallen Mingyu flashed in his mind. When Mingyu was crushed, hurt and disappointed, Wonwoo was ready to be there to catch him. As Mingyu had done for him so many times already. And maybe, in the soothing embrace of a comforting friend, Mingyu's heart might open itself up to someone else. Someone ready and available. Someone right there in that moment with him.

Instead all he got was more confusion. How could Mingyu had even thought that it was him sneaking around with Jihoon. Him and Jihoon? It was so laughable that Wonwoo couldn't stop and as with every other situation where heightened emotions were involved the conversation ended up with Wonwoo blowing up in rage. He was just so confused. He poured his heart out in song for Mingyu and he still couldn't work out how he felt? He even went to the fucking Sanrio store. Wonwoo didn't know how to be any more obvious.

But when it came time to film the music videos Mingyu had changed again. He was sweet and caring, attentive to the point of overbearing, and Wonwoo was drowning in an ocean of happiness. Just having him there by his side, attending to every need, making sure he could work without discomfort was a joy. And somehow Mingyu had even managed to save the music video shoot and he didn't have to dance with that girl. Instead he got to dance with Mingyu. Something else they would always have. A moment in time captured forever to always remind him of that day. The best day of Wonwoos life. The day when he could close his eyes and pretend that Mingyu only had eyes for him.

The day when Mingyu stared him down and vowed to stick by him. Something no one else had ever done.

But now he was alone again. It was 7am on Saturday morning and he was cramped up on the couch. Another uncomfortable night spent trying to get some rest. He grabbed his phone and saw he had hundreds of notifications. What was going on? He opened his Instagram and his mentions had blown up overnight. #beautifuldaydance was trending? What was going on.

He clicked on the # and it took him to a video. Someone had leaked a video from the set on him and Mingyu dancing together. They were so well matched with their similar height, but Mingyu was dark where Wonwoo was pale, and Mingyu was strong and well muscled while Wonwoo was skinny as a twig. As Wonwoo watched the video of their eyes locked while they danced, oblivious to the world around them, seeing only each other, his heart skipped a beat. Even though it was a grossly inappropriate invasion of his privacy, and someone should lose their job, all Wonwoo could feel was immense gratitude towards whoever captured such a beautiful moment. When the video ended with them standing still, inches away from each other, panting hard for oxygen it made Wonwoo think of something else.

He imagined Mingyu on top of him, inside him, panting hard for air as he thrust into Wonwoo's body. He imagined how it would feel to have Mingyu riding hard against him, his hair stuck to his forehead with sweat, Wonwoo's nails raking down Mingyu's back in erotic pleasure as his hips rode up to meet his thrusts halfway.

Wonwoo rolled over and put his hand inside his shorts and thrust against his own skin. He gripped his hard dick and pumped his erection while he imagined Mingyu's beautiful honey skin glowing under his touch. As his orgasm built he thrust harder. He pushed his face into the pillow to hide his desperate gasps and as he came inside his pants Mingyu's name escaped his lips.

His flushed face felt hot with a combination of pleasure and shame as Wonwoo grabbed some clean clothes and headed for the fifth floor bathroom. It wasn't the first time he jerked off over his crush but the hint of guilt never wore off.

He showered and dressed and returned to his place on the couch. He was snapped out of his daydream by his phone buzzing. It was Mingyu. Wonwoo clicked on the message and opened it straight away.

**_"Just wondering if you're awake and if you've seen the video."_ **

Wonwoo replied straight away.

**_"yes and yes."_ **

He waited with baited breath for a message of disappointment. Of shame, of anger, even just nonchalant disinterest. He couldn't believe he had let himself get so carried away. Mingyu must be so embarrassed.

_I wonder if he'll quit._

_I wonder if he meant it._

_I wonder if he'll stick by me._

The message came through in response and Wonwoo almost dropped his phone.

**_"Do you want to come to my place and we can talk about it over lunch?"_ **

Wonwoo's hands shook as he typed a reply. He wanted to. He wanted to very much.

 

Day thirty three / pm

 

Mingyu had woken up early to the buzzing of his phone. He had jumped out of bed when he saw the messages from everyone he knew – including about twenty from Vernon.

When he saw the video he wanted to die. Jun was wrong. Being more open and honest with his feelings for Wonwoo had led to their steamy dance in front of the whole crew and now he was all over social media. The hashtag #beautifuldaydance was even trending. This was the end. He knew it. Wonwoo wouldn't work with him after this.

_He must be so embarrassed._

He knew he had to find out. He sent a message to Wonwoo inviting him over to talk and was surprised with the mild response. Although Wonwoo was even harder to read over texts than in real life. He decided he definitely had nothing to lose.

**_"Sure. Send me the address."_ **

He said yes!

At least he would get fired in person. Mingyu suddenly panicked. Wonwoo would be coming to his house. It was clean, it was always clean, but it wasn't 'visitors' clean. He had fussed around all morning, cleaning the bathroom, fixing the living room, hiding his mangas and closing the door to his bedroom. He showered and dressed in something neat but casual, a white button up shirt loose over a blue tshirt and blue jeans, and headed out to buy things for lunch.

He had wandered absentmindedly through the supermarket, picking things up and putting them back, wanting the lunch to be perfect. He decided on pasta with chicken and baby spinach in a cream sauce. He knew Wonwoo would eat those things. He grabbed fresh herbs for a homemade focaccia and some dark chocolate to make mini lava cakes. As he headed for the checkout he realised he had forgotten something and turned back to grab a few cans of Red Bull.

By the time it hit 12:15pm he had finished the pasta, made the focaccia, and had the lava cakes ready to go in. He fixed his shirt a hundred times while he waited and checked his hair in the mirror as well.

Even though he was expecting it he jumped when the doorbell rang. He opened it to Wonwoo, looking as tired and bedraggled as Mingyu did fresh and neat, and he felt his heart sink with concern. Wonwoo looked terrible.

Mingyu smiled and opened the door wide and Wonwoo walked in. His eyes were like saucers as he took in the small, but neatly decorated, apartment with its white walls and its thick grey carpet. "Are you hungry?" Mingyu felt suddenly shy about how much trouble he had gone to and Wonwoo followed him into the kitchen. "I am now!" He said with more delight than Mingyu had ever seen and some of the tiredness faded from his eyes.

He leaned on the bench and watched Mingyu plate up two bowls of pasta, cut the focaccia, then put the lava cakes in the oven. They sat at Mingyu's small square glass table and ate in silence until Mingyu broke the ice. "So, the video..." Wonwoo swallowed his pasta and nodded as he stared at the table. "Yeah. It's kind of a big deal I guess." Mingyu didn't want to ask but he had to know. "How mad are you?" Wonwoo looked up shocked. "Why would I be mad? Its fine. Its cool actually, you know, social media buzz and all that....." Mingyu chuckled. "Yeah well the CEO will be happy. Your name is all over social media today."

"Your home is really nice." Wonwoo said wistfully as he reclined on Mingyu's couch stuffing his face with a second lava cake with icecream. "Thanks." Mingyu said in response. He was brimming with pride. Wonwoo had eaten all his pasta and was on his second helping of dessert. His shoes were off and he was sprawled on Mingyu's couch and it was just as wonderful as he had imagined. He wanted to slip under Wonwoo's long legs and let them rest over his lap but instead he just sat awkwardly on his armchair. "It's so neat looking. Not really what I was expecting." Wonwoo's expression was somewhere between amusement and satisfaction.

"Yeah." Mingyu smiled. He was proud of his little apartment. "It's small but it's all mine. My own space." He relaxed into the armchair and looked over at Wonwoo scraping the last of the cake out of his bowl. Mingyu stood up and took the empty bowl from Wonwoo to the kitchen. "You want coffee?" He called out. "Yeah." Wonwoo called back.

Mingyu emerged with two mugs, one milky sweet and one bitter long black, to find Wonwoo checking out his bookshelf. "You don't have many books." He said as Mingyu put the coffees down on the coffee table. Mingyu flushed with embarrassment. "I'm not much of a novel reader. I kind of hid all my manga before you got here." "I love manga." Wonwoo said. "Can I see what you've got?"

Mingyu momentarily panicked as he realised he'd hid the manga in his bedroom. "Yeah, sure, just wait here....." Mingyu opened the door and stepped into his room. As soon as he did Wonwoo was right behind him.

"Holy shit!" He exclaimed as he peeked around Mingyu's tall body into the bedroom. "This is your fucking bedroom?" Mingyu cringed and turned to him. "I didn't want you to see it. I knew you'd be mean about it. I like it and it's my room." Mingyu said defensively and something shifted in Wonwoo's expression. "No, no... it's fine. It's nice. Actually this is much more like what I was expecting." Wonwoo invited himself into the room and checked out the rug and the bedding and his eyes wandered up to the strings of fairy lights covering the roof in a glittering white glow.

He sat down on Mingyu's bed and pointed to the huge pile of mangas hidden behind the door. "Pass me one?" He laid back on Mingyu's bed and Mingyu stood stunned in the doorway for half a second before he grabbed a stack of mangas and tossed them down on the bed. He moved tentatively towards Wonwoo who was now sprawled out reading and held his breath as he sat down next to him. He shuffled over and put his legs up and grabbed a manga and began to read as well.

After an undetermined time of companionable silence Wonwoo began to shift his weight. He turned to Mingyu with dark eyes shining under the fairy lights of the bedroom and Mingyu thought he had never looked more beautiful. Every bone in Mingyu's body ached to reach out and touch him, to hold him, to tell him how wonderful and precious he was.

But instead Wonwoo spoke and his words cut straight into Mingyu's heart.

"Mingyu, we're friends, right?" Wonwoo asked with so much hope in his eyes.

"Sure." Mingyu replied with a smile that belied the pain in his chest.

_Friends._

 

Day thirty five

 

"Maybe they're mad about the video." Wonwoo tried to calm Mingyu's nerves. It was Monday morning and they had been called to a meeting with the Pledis CEO. After the fallout from the Jihoon and Hoshi scandal the whole company was on edge and Mingyu paced the room while they waited to be called in.

One week. Wonwoo's first mini album would be released in exactly seven days. They had almost made it. But here they were, summoned in front of the big guns, and Mingyu couldn't have been more terrified.

"Is it cold in here?" Mingyu shivered as he walked and Wonwoo reached out and grabbed his arm. "Stop." He said sharply. "You're making me nervous." Mingyu sighed and sat down next to Wonwoo.

He focused on Wonwoo's slow breathing and felt it calm his nerves. He realised Wonwoo was still holding his arm and when he did he felt his skin burning under Wonwoo's touch. Wonwoo maintained his grip, like he was scared Mingyu might fly away at any moment, and Mingyu allowed himself to let Wonwoo be his anchor. He rested his head against the wall and closed his eyes. His mind wandered back to the weekend when Wonwoo had came to his home and enjoyed his cooking. Wonwoo had admired his decor, read manga on his bed, and put Mingyu firmly in the friendzone.

He couldn't get it out of his mind. He suddenly realised why it was called a crush. Because he felt crushed. The weight of his feelings was slowly crushing his spirit, confusing his mind, torturing his heart. Those words had cut directly into his soul and ripped his heart into pieces.

But when he opened his eyes and saw the soft gaze that Wonwoo had begun to use towards him his heart picked up its own pieces and felt whole again. He didn't know when Wonwoo had changed. But he never used to look at Mingyu like that.

The door opened and Mingyu walked into the room with Wonwoo close behind. They bowed to the CEO and the other company heads around the table and sat in their indicated seats.

"So. Wonwoo. You must be excited. Only one week left, I hope you use this week wisely and find a balance between practicing and getting some rest, because you'll be very busy during the weeks after your debut."

"Yes sir." Wonwoo smiled gently and attentively.

"And do you have everything you need? Do you have enough staff?" The CEO looked pointedly as a nervous Mingyu shifted in his seat.

"Yes sir. Mingyu is an excellent manager. I have everything I need." Wonwoo said with another pleasant smile.

Mingyu wasn't sure where this was going. He was growing more and more agitated with each passing minute.

"There's a very interesting video of you two doing the rounds on social media. And I heard you demanded the director change the concept of the video." The CEO continued as Mingyu began to sweat.

"Yes sir." Mingyu said. "That was my idea. It wasn't working and we couldn't let the shoot go to waste." Mingyu's voice was steady and he shoved his hands under his thighs to hide their shaking.

"Well then." The CEO continued with an indecipherable expression. "The two of you seem to be quite a team. I've invited Mr Lee here. He's in charge of marketing and he has some interesting news for you." The indicated man began to speak and Mingyu felt Wonwoo's breath hitch next to him. He was doing a good job of hiding it but really he was just as nervous as Mingyu was.

_He'd be a great actor._

Mingyu's mind wandered to thoughts of Wonwoo playing the lead in a romantic historical drama and soon he was lost in a daydream. The numbers snapped him out of it halfway through a conversation he really should have been paying attention to.

"Usual production for a debut is ten thousand units so this really is unprecedented. Congratulations Wonwoo." Mr Lee was smiling as the CEO and the others stood to leave the room. Wonwoo was also standing and Mingyu quickly jumped to his feet.

As soon as they left Mingyu turned towards a beaming Wonwoo. His face was alight with a pure joy Mingyu hadn't seen before. "What did they say?" Mingyu asked as his face flushed pink. "I was daydreaming." He admitted as they began to walk out.

"All ten thousand copies of my album have already been presold!" Wonwoo grabbed Mingyu's arm again in delight and Mingyu tried hard to ignore the fire in his chest and focus on Wonwoo's words. "For real?" Mingyu couldn't believe it. "Yeah!" Wonwoo's joy, his fun and his laughter, and his pure happiness that has always lay hidden was bubbling out of him untamed. "They're ordering production of another twenty thousand!"

Wonwoo laughed and his eyes sparkled and when the sound rang in Mingyu's ears he realised he was hearing it for the first time. The sound of happiness radiating from the beautiful man standing in front of him. The soul destroying sight of a man so breathtaking Mingyu just wanted to hold him tight in his arms and never let go. But instead he crushed his feelings deep inside his chest and smiled and grabbed him by the hand. "Let's celebrate with an early lunch!" Mingyu said grinning. "It's never too early for chicken." Wonwoo said in reply as they headed out of the conference room.

Even with beanies pulled low over their heads, the hoods of their heavy coats pulled up over the top, they were still spotted. A small crowd of girls followed them from the building all the way to the chicken place they both loved. As they sat inside and ate their chicken they laughed at the people outside taking photos through the window. "Lucky you didn't sit next to me. We could be the next gay dating scandal." Wonwoo joked and Mingyu felt his cheeks heat up at the joke.

When they left one especially brave girl came forward out of the small crowd and asked for an autograph and Wonwoo smiled brightly at her and obliged. To his surprise she immediately turned and asked for Mingyu's as well. He smiled and signed her piece of paper and the other girls came forward.

The wind howled and the rain beat down as the boys finally made their way back to the Pledis building. The weather has taken a turn for the worst and they were glad for the warmth of the building. "Can you help me rehearse?" Wonwoo asked as they took their wet and heavy coats off. "Of course." Mingyu's smile was broad and genuine and the one he recieved in return warmed his heart like nothing else he had ever experienced.

And that's when he knew. It wasn't just a crush.

Mingyu was in love with him.

 

Day thirty six / am

 

The Saturday at Mingyu's house was the best day of Wonwoo's life.

The minute he stepped into Mingyu's warm apartment that smelled of pasta and chocolate and home he felt relaxed. It was strange how at ease the socially awkward and anxious man felt when the comforts of Mingyu's life surrounded him. The soft carpet, the delicious smells, Mingyu's quiet and confident manner he exuded in his own home. It all combined into a warm and soothing feeling Wonwoo had never felt before. The only thing missing from the nicely decorated apartment was the true sense of Mingyu. But Wonwoo knew he was hiding it somewhere.

He hadn't eaten a home cooked meal in months and at first he was determined to be the perfect guest. He would eat neatly and politely, making sure not to be messy or greedy, and at the end of the meal he would smile and say thanks and help Mingyu clean up.

Instead he felt himself get carried away by the delicious food and Mingyu's attentive care. He could feel Mingyu's eyes on him while he stuffed the mouth watering food into his face like he hadn't eaten in days. But fear of judgement didn't follow Wonwoo into Mingyu's home and he abandoned his polite plans when he saw Mingyu's joy in watching him eat. As soon as his plate was emptied Mingyu had filled it again and Wonwoo devoured the second. Mingyu cut his focaccia and poured his water and even had cold cans of Red Bull in his fridge.

Wonwoo had never eaten a warm lava cake before and his child like delight was obviously relished by Mingyu as he put a second one in front of him. He didn't even have to ask.

As Mingyu made coffee Wonwoo had to stretch. His stomach was stuffed and he had to walk around a bit. He never meant to be nosy but he wasn't going to waste his chance at checking out Mingyu's things.

When he saw Mingyu's bedroom he knew he finally found it. This was the sense of Mingyu the apartment had been missing. The bedroom was an explosion of all the things that Wonwoo, in theory, hated. That he thought he hated. But the sparkling of the fairy lights and the overwhelming scent of Mingyu had been irresistible.

As he relaxed on the bed and asked Mingyu if they were friends he wanted the other to scream at him.

_No._

_I don't want to be friends._

_I want more._

But the glowing smile that spread across honey gold cheeks was almost worth being friendzoned for.

_Can I just be your friend?_

_Is that all you want?_

_I just need to be near you._

Their friendship was nothing but an empty consolation prize. He felt like he was playing a game he couldn't win.

The revelation about his pre sales had boosted Wonwoo's confidence but not as much as his new found comfort with Mingyu. He felt like they truly were friends. And it hurt more than their weeks of discomfort and disdain. He was torn between the joy of their closeness and the pain of their distance.

As Wonwoo waited in the studio for Mingyu to join him his mind wandered back over the last few days. It had been the happiest Wonwoo had ever felt. He sat on the couch in the studio and swung his legs while he waited and thought over the decision he had made. He had a good feeling. Today was going to be the day. He was going to make everything clear.

Mingyu walked straight into the studio without knocking and handed over a long black and Wonwoo took it with appreciation. "Thanks." He said and tried to give his nicest smile. He was nervous but ready. He watched Mingyu take off his heavy coat and shake the water from it. "Still raining?" Wonwoo asked and Mingyu chuckled. "Yeah. It's freezing out there too." He hung his coat up and Wonwoo watched him with hungry eyes as he walked across the room. His dark hair glittered with a few raindrops and he looked ethereal as his flawless skin flowed under the studio lights.

As he sat on the couch Wonwoo went to the microphone. It was time to try again.

_Where the sky met the sea_ _You brought my heart to its knees_

_Will you be there?_

_As waves crashed on the sand_ _I dreamed of taking your hand_

_Will you be there?_

_Will I be able to hold you when there's nothing else here_

_Will you love me when I'm broken from failure and fear_

_When I'm angry and scared_ _When I'm hollow and bare_

_Will you be there?_ _Will you ever care?_   


He had closed his eyes and opened his heart while he sang and when he opened them Mingyu was standing right in front of him. They were barely inches apart and Wonwoo inhaled sharply before Mingyu's lips came crashing down onto his.

_It's happening._

It was better than he ever could have imagined. His hands reached up and found Mingyu's soft dark hair and Wonwoo allowed his fingers to melt into it. His lips were on fire from the chemistry burning hot between the two and when Mingyu gripped him by the waist and pushed his tongue inside Wonwoo's mouth he felt his heart find its wings. Their tongues locked in a slow sensual battle and their bodies moved even closer.

But when they broke for air, breathless and panting for oxygen, Wonwoo's eyes only found disappointment reflected. "I'm so sorry Wonwoo." Mingyu gasped. "This was a mistake. I'm so sorry." And he turned and ran before Wonwoo could stop him.

_This was a mistake._

Wonwoo was crushed. His stomach sank as he felt the weight of Mingyu's crushing words all the way into his heart.

He sank onto the couch as confusion boiled inside his body. He didn't know what to do. Had he been reading all the signals wrong? The way Mingyu had looked at him, all the hugs and the hand holding, the feeling when they danced together. The way he treated him that day he went to Mingyu's apartment and Mingyu fed him and fussed over him and made him feel special.

_Was it all a mistake?_

Wonwoo closed his eyes but the tears still fell. He was out of ideas. Sad, lonely, exhausted beyond belief Wonwoo felt as though he had reached his limit. He had to find a way to push past it. He had to push past himself or risk losing it all.

 

Day thirty six / pm

 

It was like his life was moving in slow motion. When Mingyu walked into the studio Wonwoo was practically glowing. Something had changed inside him over the last week and he was like a different person. He was still stiff and awkward, shy and reticent, but a light had been lit inside him and Mingyu could see it burning bright behind his deep black eyes.

He watched his every move with his eyes caress unsatisfying. Until now he had made peace with the fact that he was a friend, nothing more, maybe never more. But on that day, safely hidden from the swirling storm outside, Mingyu knew it wasn't enough.

The song pierced his soul as he watched Wonwoo sing. He felt the words flow straight into his heart.  


_Will I be able to hold you when there's nothing else here_

_Will you love me when I'm broken from failure and fear_

_When I'm angry and scared_ _When I'm hollow and bare_

_Will you be there?_ _Will you ever care?_

_Yes_.

Mingyu's eyes screamed.

_Yes_.  


When there's nothing else, when it's just the two of us against the world, when you're scared and empty and broken.

I'll be there.   


When you're angry, when you're insecure, when you show me your truest self. When you bare your soul and need a safe space to hide.

I'll be there.

I'll care.   


He didn't know how to say it or what to do but something drew him closer to Wonwoo. He leaned in and felt the warmth between their bodies and when Wonwoo's eyes opened and stared into Mingyu's his instinct took over.

As their lips met in burning heat Mingyu felt white hot passion shoot through his body. Wonwoo's hands wound though his hair and he allowed his tongue to taste Wonwoo's mouth and it was rich and bittersweet with the lingering hint of his long black coffee. Mingyu had never tasted anything so overwhelmingly delicious.

He pulled him closer and kissed him harder and it was only as they pulled apart he realised what he had done.  


_"Mingyu, we're friends, right?" Wonwoo had asked with so much hope in his eyes._  


And he'd ruined it. Broken his trust. Kissed him and touched him and held him without permission.

"I'm so sorry Wonwoo." Mingyu gasped. "This was a mistake. I'm so sorry." And he turned and ran before Wonwoo could stop him.

He ran. He ran down the corridor and frantically pressed the elevator button. He turned in hope that Wonwoo was following him. But the cold empty corridor matched the cold empty feeling inside his heart and he slipped into the elevator full of melancholy.

It wasn't until he reached the lobby that he realised his thick winter coat was still hanging on the back of the studio door. He cursed his lack of forethought and stuffed his hands into his pockets. He couldn't go back and face what he'd done. He had too much pride and was too embarrassed at his out of control actions. He would rather just walk in the freezing cold rain. He deserved it, he told himself, he deserved the misery of the storm beating down upon him.

It was icy cold and if the rain wasn't so heavy it would probably have been snow. It whirled around him as he walked the few blocks back to his apartment building. By the time he made it he was shivering and soaked. His sweater was stuck to him with rain as cold as ice and his socks and shoes were waterlogged. All he could think about was getting inside and into a hot shower.

Mingyu's hands checked his pockets again and again but it was not good. "Fuck." He swore uncharacteristically, checked one more time, and realised his keys were in his coat pocket back at the company building.

He took his phone out of his pocket and used it to call Vernon. He's given him a spare ages ago and the forethought finally paid off. By the time Vernon arrived with the keys Mingyu was pale. He was pressed against the wall of his building, shivering, sneezing and thankful for the rain that was hiding his tears.

"What the fuck happened to you?" Vernon said as he rushed towards him. "I-I-I'm fine." Mingyu chattered through shivering teeth. He snatched the keys from Vernon. "Are you sure?" Vernon said. "No!" Mingyu exploded. "No I'm not sure. I fucking kissed Wonwoo and I've fucked it up. He probably hates me now. Everything was fine and I had to ruin it." Hot tears stung his cold cheeks pink and ruddy from the wind. "I don't know what came over me. He said he wanted to be friends but then he sang that song again and I got confused and it just happened. I kissed him and it was amazing and beautiful and I said it was a mistake and ran away." He rambled on in his misery and only stopped when he saw Vernon's mouth agape with confusion.

"I need to be alone. Sorry." As quick as his fire blazed it dissipated and he felt bad for yelling at his friend. "Ok. Let me know if you need anything." Vernon patted his friend on the shoulder and Mingyu walked into his building.

He stripped his cold clothes off and let them drop to the floor. The longer he stood in the warm shower the worse he felt. Mingyu shampooed his hair and soaped his body and tried to ignore the tears still streaming down his cheeks.

He shivered as he dressed and shivered as he made hot tea. His head ached and his body was sore all over. Mingyu sipped his tea and took some painkillers and climbed into bed.

_At least the pounding in my head is distracting me from the pain in my heart._

He tossed and turned and tried to ignore the visions of Wonwoo's dark eyes that swam in his mind. His shivering turned to sweating and soon he felt like he was on fire. He threw his covers off as he tried to get comfortable and his Hello Kitty bedding fell to the floor.

Sleep was a long time coming but when it hit it hit hard. And when he woke up he groaned as he realised he was fevered.

Mingyu was sick.

 

Day thirty seven

 

_This was a mistake._

_I'm sorry._

_It was a mistake._

Wonwoo was curled up on the couch of the recording studio. He slept all night with his arms wrapped around Mingyu's thick winter coat. The fur around the hood held the lingering scent of Mingyu's soft dark hair and Wonwoo buried his face in the faint aromas of fresh cut grass, lemon and clean laundry.

_It wasn't a mistake._

If it was a mistake then Mingyu wouldn't have pulled him closer and kissed him deeper. If it was a mistake then Wonwoo wouldn't still have the lingering heat of Mingyu's lips on his. If it was a mistake then why could he still taste the milky sweet latte on Mingyu's tongue?

_The only mistake was mine again._

_The mistake of letting him run away._

_The mistake of letting him go._

Wonwoo sat up and as the coat fell to the floor he heard the heavy clunk. Wonwoo fished around in the pockets and pulled out a bunch of keys on, what else, a Hello Kitty keychain. He wondered how Mingyu got into his apartment but pushed the thought out of his mind and put the keys down on the table. He needed help and there was only one person he could go to.

He rode the elevator up to the 17th floor. It was early and the corridors were empty but he knew Jihoon would be there. He knocked before walking in and found Jihoon drinking a huge glass of Coke and scrolling through his laptop.

"How are things?" Wonwoo said as he sat in the opposite chair. "Better than expected. Gossip has died down a bit and sales haven't dropped much. And in the end that's all the company is really worried about." Jihoon closed his laptop. "And you?" Wonwoo's expression was one of confusion. "I don't know." He said and Jihoon laughed.

He told him everything. Mingyu's unexpected reaction to Jihoon dating his crush. Their hot dance on the set. Their wonderful afternoon in Mingyu's apartment where he made Wonwoo feel like the most important person on earth. The song, their kiss, those heartbreaking words.

"He said it was a mistake." Wonwoo said softly as he stared down at the street below. The rain was still beating down and the streets were mostly empty. He pressed his forehead against the icy cold glass. He turned to Jihoon with a vacant stare. "Why do I feel like this?" "Like what?" Jihoon joined him at the window. "Like he's always on my mind. I can't get rid of him. Like I want to be with him every day. Like I would do anything for him. Change who I am for him." Wonwoo turned towards Jihoon who put his hand on Wonwoo's shoulder. "Sounds like you love him."

_Love._

"I thought love made you feel good. I just always feel on edge. Like I'm constantly just seconds away from either the best or worst moment of my life." He turned to Jihoon. "I'm tired. It's exhausting." Jihoon chuckled. "That's just because you need him to love you back. So why are you here talking to me and not him?" Jihoon pushed Wonwoo towards the door just as his phone buzzed in his pocket. " I told you before. He's cute but I don't think he's very smart. Make him a fucking sign if you have to. But show him how you feel." And with that Jihoon pushed him out the door.

Wonwoo grabbed his phone out and saw the message from Mingyu.

**_I can't come to work. I'm sick._ **

Last time Mingyu was sick Wonwoo was desperate to be there for him. But he let his own self doubt and insecurity swallow his good intention. He wasn't going to let it stop him again. As he walked down the long corridor he passed an open door and when he glanced inside he saw the boy. The one who had fuelled so much jealousy inside him. The perfect American boy with the laughing eyes and the easy smiles. Wonwoo walked into his office and the boy looked up at him in surprise.

"Hi. I'm Wonwoo." Wonwoo said softly. "I know." Vernon replied. "I'm Vernon." "Ah... so..." Wonwoo shifted nervously. "So. Does Mingyu ever talk about me?" He asked as he stared at the ground. He looked up to find the boy's eyes filled with delight. "Are you fucking kidding? You're all he talks about. We're all so over you both doing this stupid awkward thing where you don't really say how you feel and keep misunderstanding each other." Vernon smiled at Wonwoo's sudden blush.

"Thanks. I gotta go!" Wonwoo scrambled towards the door.

He ran down to the studio and grabbed Mingyu's jacket and his keys. He put his own winter coat on and headed out into the howling wind. Mingyu's apartment was only a few blocks away but it was hard to walk in the weather and he battled the strong winds the whole way. There was a supermarket just across the street from Mingyu's apartment. He walked in, Mingyu's heavy coat still in his arms, and he got a trolley and threw it into the bottom.

He stood in the middle of the supermarket and typed 'how to make soup' into google, was overwhelmed with the results, and closed his phone. He wandered around the vegetable section and rubbed his forehead. He took a deep breath, got his phone back out, and typed 'chicken soup' into the search.

He added onions and leeks and celery to his cart. He found chicken and cartons of stock and fresh sage and garlic. He picked out some delicious looking fruits, watermelon and pineapple and strawberries. He racked his brain trying to think of other things that could help Mingyu. He added lemonade and throat lozenges, vitamins and painkillers and flu tablets. He lugged his bags out of the checkout and across the road to Mingyu's building and used his key to get in.

The thought of entering Mingyu's apartment uninvited never crossed his mind. He knocked loudly and when there was no answer he just used the key. Wonwoo opened the door and dragged the shopping bags in quietly and closed the door behind him.

He looked into Mingyu's bedroom and saw him asleep. He was dressed in a thick hoodie and trackpants and the Hello Kitty bedding he loved so much was crumpled on the floor. Wonwoo crept over to the bed but he could feel the heat radiating from Mingyu before he even got close.

Wonwoo sat on the edge of the bed next to Mingyu and typed 'how to cure a fever' into google. He fished through the results and put the phone down. He knew he wouldn't be able to move Mingyu into a cool bath. But he knew he had to get his clothes off.

When he looked down at Mingyu, his face flushed, his forehead dripping with sweat, all traces of Wonwoo's shyness vanished. Mingyu needed him. He grabbed the legs of Mingyu's trackpants and hoped desperately that he had underwear on. He pulled them off and was relieved to see boxers underneath. The hoodie was going to be more difficult. He somehow managed to hold Mingyu up with one hand and pull off the hoodie with the other and only then did he realise Mingyu was now stretched out on his bed in nothing but his underwear.

Wonwoo's eyes drank in the beautiful sight. Mingyu's body was long and lean and muscular. His skin was flawless and the colour of smooth sweet caramel. Wonwoo sat down next to him and his breath caught in his chest as he felt Mingyu's forehead. Even mired in a fevered illness he was stunning. Wonwoo covered him with a lightweight sheet and went to the bathroom. He came back out with a cold damp towel and used it to sponge Mingyu's forehead, neck and chest in an attempt to cool his body down.

Finally Mingyu roused. "Wonwoo?" He mumbled. "Don't try to talk. I'll take care of you." Wonwoo whispered. He held out two pills and a glass of water and Mingyu swallowed them before laying back down. Wonwoo rinsed the towel and placed it back on Mingyu's forehead and went to the kitchen to learn how to make soup. Mingyu was so good at taking care of him and it was time to repay him.

_I know you care._

_I'll show you that I do too._

_I'll prove to you that I care about you._

 

Day thirty eight / am

 

Mingyu had trouble waking up. His head was pounding and he had the strangest dream.

He dreamed that Wonwoo was in his apartment, sponging his forehead, making him take medicine, spooning soup into his mouth. He never wanted the dream to end, it was sweet and made his heart feel fluttery, and he tried to hold onto it as long as he could before he properly woke up.

When he finally managed to open his eyes he sat up and almost jumped in fright. There on the floor next to his bed, his body wound inside the rolled up Hello Kitty covered quilt, was Wonwoo. His brow was furrowed as he slept, his soft honey coloured hair spilling across a pink and purple pillow, his lips wet with drool.

_It's even more perfect than in my imagination._

Mingyu wanted to reach out and stroke his hair but as he leaned down Wonwoo stirred and opened his eyes. Mingyu pulled his hand back and suddenly wondered why he was there. Had it been a dream or had Wonwoo really taken care of him all night? After what he did to him, kissing him and then running away, without so much as an apology?

Wonwoo sat up and rubbed his eyes. "How do you feel?" He asked as Mingyu scowled in confusion. "Better." He replied. "Thanks to you I think." He laid back down and rolled onto his side to face Wonwoo. "Did you take care of me or was I dreaming?" Wonwoo smiled. "I took care of you. I used your key. I'm sorry but I didn't want you to be sick and alone." He flushed pink and laid back down as well and stared at the fairy lights on the roof.

They lay in silence. Neither of them knew how to break the ice. Finally Mingyu spoke. "Did you undress me?" He began to laugh and Wonwoo did too. "I had to!" Wonwoo exclaimed. "You were so hot!" They both relaxed as laughter eased the atmosphere in the room.

Wonwoo leaned over and grabbed his shirt from next to his little cocoon on the floor. Mingyu watched him pull the shirt over his bare shoulders, his milky white skin flawless, his broad shoulders leading down to his narrow waist. Something stirred inside Mingyu and he wanted to see more. He wanted to see all of Wonwoo, to feel him and to hold him, to know what secrets his body held.

He watched Wonwoo get up and pick up the bedding and put it back on the bed. He felt a shift in the tension as Wonwoo stood awkwardly in the middle of Mingyu's bedroom. He could see Wonwoo trying hard not to look at him and he pulled the sheet up over his bare chest. "Wonwoo. Look at me please." He said quietly and Wonwoo turned towards him. His eyes were dark as the depths of the ocean and Mingyu felt himself drowning in them. He had so much to say but words escaped him and he couldn't get his head together.

Mingyu felt suddenly dizzy and his head ached and swam with fever and confusion. He closed his eyes and when he opened them Wonwoo was next to him feeling his forehead gently. Their faces were so close that it was suffocating, Wonwoo's expression said more than his words ever could, and when Mingyu saw the truth in his eyes he finally knew.

_It wasn't a mistake._

He leaned in and captured Wonwoo's soft lips with his own. The kiss was gentle and chaste and only lasted a few seconds. But the combination of his attraction to Wonwoo and his fever made Mingyu hot all over and he felt the lingering burn of the kiss after they pulled away. His own chocolate brown irises met Wonwoo's deep black depths and an understanding passed between them with no words necessary.

"I could really do with a shower." Mingyu said quietly as he looked down. Their hands were entwined and he hadn't even realised. "You need a bath. You needed one yesterday, a cool bath, but I didn't know how to manage it." Wonwoo's own words were suddenly shy. "Wonwoo." Mingyu said, their hands still entwined, neither wanting to let go. "Thank you. Thank you for coming here and looking after me." "I wanted to." Wonwoo said.

_He had to know for sure._

_He had to ask._

_Be brave Mingyu._

"When I kissed you. It wasn't a mistake. Was it?" He squinted his eyes closed and held his breath. The words he heard in return warmed his heart more than any fever ever could.

"It wasn't a mistake. The mistake was mine when I let you run away."

Mingyu opened his eyes and reached out and Wonwoo fell into him. He held him close and Wonwoo laid his head on Mingyu's chest and his honey gold hair tickled Mingyu's bare skin.

"I really need that shower." Mingyu began to laugh as Wonwoo looked up at him and wrinkled his nose. "Yeah you sure do." He said and they both laughed again.

When he emerged from the shower he felt weak but better. His hair was washed and his teeth were brushed and nice clean clothes made him feel fresh. He wandered into the kitchen to find Wonwoo making tea and he didn't protest when the boy pushed him away and onto the couch. "I'm taking care of you today. I've made tea, and I have soup, toast, lemonade, fruit...." Mingyu watched Wonwoo disappear into his kitchen and come back out with a mug of tea, a bottle of water and the box of cold tablets.

Wonwoo put his own mug of bitter black coffee down on the coffee table and sat awkwardly on the armchair. "I'll go soon and let you rest." He said softly as he picked up his mug and stared into it.

Mingyu's heart sank briefly but things had changed and he had seen the inside of Wonwoo's heart. He knew he didn't want to leave. And Mingyu was sick of this stupid game of theirs, where they skirted the truth and ignored the obvious, and hid their feelings from each other. "Wonwoo if you have something you need to do today then you go and do it. But if you don't then I don't want you to leave.... Me..." Mingyu took a deep breath, stared Wonwoo in the eye, and bared his soul. "I don't want you to go. I want you to stay here. With me."

He hoped he had been clear enough and was relieved when Wonwoo moved from the armchair to the couch next to him. "I don't really want to leave." Wonwoo's smile was breathtaking in its honesty. "I could just really do with a shower and some clean clothes too." He shifted his body a little closer and Mingyu reached out and pulled him close again. "You can borrow something of mine. We're going to be so busy soon, can't we just take the whole day off, just pretend the world doesn't exist?"

He felt Wonwoo relax into his body and curl up against his side. Mingyu wrapped his arms around him and in that moment he knew the rest of the world didn't exist. He had everything he needed. It took them a long time to get here but now that they were together it was perfect and Mingyu was never going to let Wonwoo go.

 

Day thirty eight / pm

 

⚠️ ** _smut chapter_** ⚠️  


Wonwoo extracted himself from Mingyu's side and sat up. "I really need a shower." He said again and smiled shyly. The relief and relaxation that flooded his body was addictive.

_So this is what it's supposed to feel like._

His wordless confession had awakened something inside Mingyu and the other boy was glowing. "Don't get up!" Mingyu pulled him back by the hand and pouted so cutely at him and Wonwoo's heart turned into a puddle.

"I don't want to cuddle you if I smell." Wonwoo frowned and immediately softened his expression when he saw disappointment cross Mingyu's face. "Okay." Mingyu got up and went into his bedroom. He came out with some shorts and a tshirt, a brand new toothbrush, and a towel and handed them to Wonwoo. "Use whatever you want in there." He said as Wonwoo headed in the direction of the bathroom.

He stood in the shower and thought over the last 24 hours. He wanted to change for Mingyu. He wanted to be someone who could say how they felt, show their love and care, be there for someone else. He sighed deeply as he shampooed his hair. He felt like yesterday was a start.

Everything in the bathroom smelled like Mingyu. The shampoo held the strong and delicious aroma of fresh lemons and his body wash was rich and masculine. He dried himself and dressed in Mingyu's clothes and with no one around to see he allowed himself to flush at his reflection in the mirror. He felt so cute in Mingyu's clothing which was way too big.

_Why had he been so stubborn?_

_Why had it taken him so long?_

He felt much more confident as he emerged clean and fresh and smelling great. Mingyu was stretched out on the couch with his eyes closed but he opened them when he heard Wonwoo approach. "How do you feel?" He asked him again and Mingyu's expression darkened as he felt eyes look him up and down.

Without warning Mingyu moved from the couch and captured his lips deeply. Wonwoo felt strong arms wrap around his body as Mingyu drew him further into his embrace. He parted his lips just enough and Mingyu got the hint and used his tongue to pry them open. Their kiss was heated and desperate, weeks of repressed feelings and mixed messages, all boiled over into a kiss that soon became frantic in its passion.

Wonwoo felt Mingyu inside his mouth, exploring every inch of him, and it was better than he ever could have imagined. His own hands wandered as arousal took over him and his body took on a mind of its own. He felt Mingyu's hand on the nape of his neck as they tried the impossible task of deepening their kiss even further. It wasn't enough, Wonwoo's body was alive with a hunger inside, and a moan escaped his lips as Mingyu finally broke the kiss.

"It's not enough." He whispered hoarsely as Mingyu's mouth worked its way down his neck. "I need you Mingyu." He closed his eyes and shivered as Mingyu's teeth found a soft spot near his collarbone. "Please. I've waited too long already." He opened his eyes as Mingyu grabbed him by the hand and dragged him into the bedroom.

Wonwoo's back landed on the soft Hello Kitty bedding as Mingyu's body landed on top of his. His hands slipped under Mingyu's shirt and pulled it over his head. He had already seen Mingyu shirtless but this was the first time that he felt like he had the right to look. It was stunning, his body was perfect, his muscles hard and his skin flawless. Wonwoo's hands wandered all over Mingyu's back and sides and stomach as Mingyu continued working kisses down his neck. Mingyu sat back and gripped the bottom of Wonwoo's shirt but Wonwoo stopped him. "I don't look like you." He whispered and he felt insecurity fill his eyes. "I don't want you to look like me." Mingyu smiled gently as he lifted the shirt. "I want you to look like you." Wonwoo felt the short pull d over his head and before he could protest Mingyu's hands were running over his vanilla white chest. "You're more beautiful than I imagined." Mingyu mumbled, his eyes dark with lust, his hands making sparks fly inside Wonwoo's stomach.

Wonwoo closed his eyes and threw his head back as Mingyu's mouth travelled down the centre of his chest. Licking, biting, sucking, his mouth was filled with tastes of Wonwoo's skin and Wonwoo was breathless in his state of bliss. He felt Mingyu stop and he opened his eyes and saw Mingyu staring at him intently.

"Wonwoo. If you want this to stop you need to tell me now. Because I'm about ten seconds away from doing things to you that I'll never be able to take back." Wonwoo shivered in anticipation as he slipped out of his shorts. "Make me yours Mingyu." He smiled softly and shyly. He felt intimidated under Mingyu's lustful gaze but there was no turning back. He wanted it more than anything.

He saw the look of pure hunger in Mingyu's eyes and it made him look away. He clenched his eyes shut as Mingyu lowered his body down, capturing his lips again. He could feel Mingyu's hips digging into the soft skin of his inner thighs as Mingyu began to grind against him in time with their kiss. He was so hard it almost hurt and he began to grind back in an attempt to feel some relief.

"Open your eyes." Mingyu's voice took on a commanding tone and Wonwoo's subconscious obeyed without question. "I want you to see. I want you to watch me." Mingyu's deep honey voice was thick with arousal as he trailed his tongue down Wonwoo's stomach, lingering around his belly button, before Wonwoo watched the head of his erection disappear into Mingyu's mouth.

Wonwoo groaned and arched his back as his hips bucked uncontrollably. Mingyu's warm wet mouth enveloped his hard dick and began to suck and Wonwoo felt the coil of arousal wind quickly inside his stomach. His breath came in short sharp gasps as Mingyu's mouth worked harder and soon he was brought to the edge. "Mingyu, I'm close...." Wonwoo whined as his hands tugged at Mingyu's hair and his groans of pleasure turned to gasps of relief as Mingyu released his dick.

Mingyu slipped out of his own shorts, leaned over and began to rummage through his bedside drawer, and Wonwoo was about to ask when he saw Mingyu emerge triumphant with a little clear bottle. "Are you sure?" Mingyu's eyes were still dark with lust and arousal but there was also concern and care clouding them. Wonwoo swallowed thickly as he stared at Mingyu's erection and nodded. Mingyu filled his palm with the viscous liquid and as he distracted Wonwoo with a kiss he entered him with two fingers.

The beautiful pain made Wonwoo gasp for air and Mingyu immediate pulled them out. "I'm sorry." He whispered. "I'm not." Wonwoo whispered back and crashed their lips together again. "Don't hold back." Wonwoo begged as he began to suck on Mingyu's neck. "We've been holding back for too long."

Mingyu's fingers curled inside him as Wonwoo felt the pleasure overtake the pain. He began to rock his hips into the feeling and Mingyu knew he was ready. He let his fingers slide out and Wonwoo shuddered at the empty feeling. He watched Mingyu coat his erection in lube and give it a few unnecessary strokes. "Don't take your eyes off me." Mingyu commanded as he pushed himself slowly inside Wonwoo's body.

Wonwoo didn't. He stared into Mingyu's eyes as the other began to thrust slowly in and out of him. Their faces inches away, sweat building on both their foreheads, they stared into each other's eyes as their bodies rocked against each other. "Wonwoo." Mingyu whispered his name as he began to ride his body harder. He leaned on one arm and gripped Wonwoo's dripping erection with the other and began to jerk him in time with his thrusts.

Wonwoo began to moan. He fought every instinct he had to keep his eyes on Mingyu. He wanted to close his eyes and throw his head back in ecstasy. But Mingyu commanded him with his eye contact and he couldn't break it. "I want you to cum. I want you to look at me while you cum." Mingyu's voice was thick and his hand moved faster and Wonwoo felt his body on the edge. "I'm close." Wonwoo gasped and rolled his hips. He moaned and came hard and shuddered as he released all over Mingyu's hand. "Good." Mingyu whispered and began to thrust harder.

Mingyu's fingers buried themselves in Wonwoo's hair as he rode harder, Wonwoo felt his lips captured in a deep kiss, his senses all on overload. Mingyu's tongue searched for his wildly and sloppily, their kiss became frantic, and with their lips joined in sweet ecstasy Mingyu moaned through his orgasm into Wonwoo's mouth. Wonwoo felt goosebumps spring up all over Mingyu's skin as his thrusts slowed and then stopped and the younger collapsed on top of him.

"There's no going back now. Is there?" Mingyu's whole body shook on top of Wonwoo's as he laughed. "No. Not from that!" Wonwoo said and when their eyes met there was a softness between them that felt fresh and close and new. Wonwoo didn't want to go back. He didn't know how they would move on, how they would deal with their everyday lives within this new dynamic, but for the first time in a long time he wasn't scared.

As he lay trapped under Mingyu's bare naked skin he felt brave and strong. With Mingyu by his side he could be all that he wanted. He could be his best self. And he would be. For Mingyu. He would do anything for Mingyu.

Even change who he was.

 

Day forty

 

They weren't usually allowed to take the company cars out alone on weekends but Wonwoo had connections now. And with the windows down, and the cold breeze in their hair, Mingyu drove the big SUV down the highway to the beach.

It was Saturday, the last one before Wonwoo's debut, their last one before their lives changed forever. Although as Mingyu looked sideways for a brief second and saw Wonwoo looking out the window and smiling, he knew his life already had changed.

He smiled to himself as he wondered over how quickly things had changed. Somewhere in between suffering with a fever and taking Wonwoo into his bed they had become inseparable. Their connection had always been there. It had just been confused, twisted and convoluted, and tainted by repression and fear. Now they were free. Free to smile, to talk and to laugh, and to enjoy each other.

When Mingyu took Wonwoo into his bed he didn't know what came over him. The man next to him did something to his mind and his body, he didn't know if it was the remains of the fever or just his insatiable hunger for Wonwoo, but they had stayed in bed for a whole day learning the intricacies of each other's bodies. Mingyu's confidence was through the roof as Wonwoo responded to his touch with enthusiasm and reciprocation and it took all Mingyu's self control to keep his hands off him in public.

By Friday lunchtime they knew they had to show their faces at the company and went into work. They ran into a few people they knew but no one seemed to notice Wonwoo's glow or that the clothes he wore weren't his. They went to the dance practice room to rehearse but their session had been cut short when Mingyu pinned Wonwoo between his body and the mirrored wall. Their bodies hungered for each other and Mingyu had never found himself so out of control. He couldn't help himself. Wonwoo had him addicted to all the sinful secrets his body held.

They had managed to get their things and rush back to Mingyu's apartment before giving in and connecting their writhing bodies on top of the Hello Kitty bedding.

Poor Hello Kitty. She had seen some shit in the last few days.

It had been Wonwoo's suggestion to head to the beach and Mingyu would give him anything he wanted. So here they were on a cold Saturday morning heading out for one last taste of freedom for a long time.

They parked in the same spot as last time. They didn't hold hands. They couldn't risk it. Instead Wonwoo innocently clung to the bottom hem of Mingyu's hoodie as they walked out onto the sand.

They sat side by side in silence and took off their shoes. They rolled their jeans up and walked out into the cold water and Mingyu felt like he had come full circle.

"This was when things changed for me." He turned to Wonwoo. "This was when I started to see the real you." Wonwoo moved closer to him and smiled up at the tall man who held Wonwoo's heart within his soft glowing smile. "I went home from here and wrote five songs in one night." Wonwoo admitted. "If you hadn't brought me here that day there still wouldn't be an album." He stared wistfully out across the horizon. The sky was slate cold and clouds floated silently in hues of purple and white and grey.

Mingyu felt Wonwoo shift uncomfortably next to him and grip his shirt tighter. He could feel Wonwoo's tangible need to be in his arms and he wanted so much to wrap them around him, to soothe him and comfort him, but eyes could be anywhere and they had to resist.

"You know now that the song is yours. Right?" Wonwoo's voice held just a hint of sadness and Mingyu finally realised how helpless he must have felt. He silently cursed his own stupidity for the millionth time. "I know now. I'm so sorry Wonwoo. I can't believe I was so blind." He ached to hold him but he couldn't. Wonwoo just smiled that slow shy smile that made Mingyu feel like the earth was spinning under him. "Well you know now. And that's all that matters. I didn't write it for you. I wrote it for us."

As they sat on the beach with sand between their toes Mingyu had to know. "So when did you start liking me? Was it when you got me the little Hello Kitty?" Wonwoo's eyes dropped to the sand and he took a deep breath. "It was about a year ago." He looked up to see shock and confusion on Mingyu's face. "You were so sweet to me when no one else was. You didn't even know me. But you always smiled and said hello even when I couldn't say it back. Long after everyone else stopped trying." Wonwoo dug his toes into the soft sand. "I wanted to know you but I didn't know where to start. And then after hoping every day that I'd run into you somewhere you were suddenly right in front of me every day."

Mingyu got up and brushed the sand from his pants. "Want to go get some coffee?" He asked and Wonwoo broke into a gentle smile. "Yes please. I'd like that."   


That night they lay naked and warm, entangled in the sheets of Mingyu's bed, their limbs sweaty and entwined. Mingyu was slowly running his fingers through Wonwoo's soft honey gold hair and the older's eyes were closed in sensual bliss. "Is this heaven?" Wonwoo mumbled aloud and then flushed with embarrassment when he realised he had vocalised his thoughts. "Pretty close." Mingyu's face was soft and thoughtful as he stared at Wonwoo. He had imagined Wonwoo in his bed a hundred times and yet the reality was still something he was unprepared for.

Wonwoo's phone was ringing insistently. He tried to ignore it but Mingyu pushed him over towards the bedside table. "It might be important!" He insisted and it turned out that it was.

"Hello sir?" He answered politely when he realised it was the CEO calling. He got up to walk out the room, grabbing the sheet to wrap around his waist, leaving a squealing Mingyu sprawled naked on the pink sheets. He was gone for a while and when he walked back in Mingyu overheard the end of his conversation. "No, no need to call Mingyu, I'll tell him myself. Thank you sir. Thank you very much."

Mingyu looked at Wonwoo expectantly who grinned in delight. "The company have changed their mind and decided I get the live showcase debut!" Wonwoo shrieked as Mingyu reached up and pulled him down on top of him, rolling his body on top of Wonwoo, devouring his lips in a desperate kiss.

_Is this heaven?_

_Pretty close._

 

Day forty two / end

 

They were locked inside the dressing room of the theatre. All ten thousand tickets to the live debut showcase had sold out immediately. Wonwoo was dressed in a casual jeans and tshirt combination. His hair had been retouched and his face glowed with the inner strength of someone who had finally learned their true value.

Sometimes we can't truly see ourselves until we look through the eyes of someone else.

Someone knocked on the door and called out "ten minutes" and Wonwoo's hands began to shake. He didn't say anything. He didn't have to. Mingyu enveloped him within his huge arms and squeezed the life out of him. Wonwoo gasped for air. "You're squishing me!" He managed to get out while Mingyu just laughed.

Their eyes met and melted into each other. Memories came crashing back into Wonwoo's mind. Sea and salt and bitter coffee. Silent drives and cold walks in the rain. Jealousy, self doubt and confusion had been replaced with security, confidence and joy. Every day with Mingyu was a joy.

Wonwoo still felt insecure sometimes but Mingyu had a way of telling him everything he needed to hear without saying a word.

Sometimes it wasn't all about words. A look, a gesture, a sandwich or a coffee. A need anticipated. A kindness shown without request or expectation of reciprocation. Actions spoke louder than words and this was never more true than today.

Mingyu took the little Hello Kitty out of his pocket and pushed her into the pocket of Wonwoo's jeans. "I don't want you to be alone out there." He said softly. He couldn't always be by Wonwoo's side. Sometimes he would have to wait in the background, watching from the shadows, ready to step in.

Wonwoo took a deep breath. This was it. His live debut. Everything was about to change but there was still one last thing to say.

"I love you Mingyu." He looked right into his eyes while he said it. This was the first time. Tears filled his vision while he waited for the response.

"I love you too Wonwoo. So much." The response was more than he could have hoped for.

It was time. A night of first times.

"I'll be right here. You can see me if you look over. But try not to. Ok?" Mingyu whispered as Wonwoo prepared to go out on stage.

"I want you to watch." Wonwoo smirked as he turned to head out on stage. "Don't take your eyes off me." He winked at Mingyu and disappeared into the darkness.

_I couldn't tear my eyes away even if I tried._

_Even if I wanted to._

Mingyu was smitten as the spotlight hit Wonwoo's honey gold hair.

And the next star rapper of Pledis made his debut live in front of ten thousand screaming fans. And his biggest fan. Not by rapping but by singing his most private emotions on stage.

When Wonwoo sang for him Mingyu wondered what amazing act of valour he must have performed in a past life to deserve this one.

Competent and admired Manager of the hottest, and most difficult, rookie idol in the industry.

Gentle and loving boyfriend of the most complicated person he had ever met.

Happiest man on the planet.  


_The warmth of soft honey_ _The heat of your body_ _The only piece of respite_ _my crying heart can find_

His heart might not be crying anymore but he could still find respite in the heat of their bodies.

It truly was their song.

It had been inside Wonwoo the whole time. He just needed someone to help him let it out.  


_Six weeks_

_Forty two days_  


Time enough to change their lives.

Time to make forever theirs.  



End file.
